Christian Television Association Ad

The rain on the window reminded me of this shitty ad from the 80's.



We didn't have a little tree climbing Aryan kid in the office though.

Gotte love the Youtube commentary though. This gem is brought to you by psconstruct who sounds like the build things in secret.

"Yeah he went to my HS we used to throw his bag in the tree and tell him to say hello my god to bring it down. It never worked" :(

Child bullying. I like it.

How about this from Zjwrsa?

"Seriously, what are they trying to achieve here? Would this have converted a single person? Their marketing department sucks"

Yes, what were they trying to achieve? Why don't they just stand on speaker boxes with Eternity written on them in the centre of Town Hall and try to convert people instead. That sounds far more effective.

US Holiday Snaps

It's the trip that keeps giving.

Here's Jeff, me, Ris and Matt jumping on the Skybridge run by the Hualapai Tribe at the Grand Canyon. The SkyBridge is perspex and can withstand a Richter 8 Earthquake, or 100 knot winds or the weight of seven fully loaded Boeing 747's. It was sexy as.

Here's a posed photo that we took on the Simpsons Ride at Universal Studios. We were full gangsta aight?

Vulnerable

I figured out that humans are the most vulnerable when they're expelling fluids.

Think about it.

Wollongong Comedy Festival.

I went down to Wollongong or more accurately the Thirroul Beach Hotel last night for their Open Mic Comp and ended up being in the same heat as Mick Meredith. Mick is a great comic who has been doing comedy for 20 years so it was surprising to see him there.

The night was about to start and there was only a crowd of about 15 people and then the MC went on and about 15 more appeared so it wasn’t dead but it was probably a bit emptier than they had hoped for. Anyways Mick went on first and his opening joke was a bit flat so he calls it and says “Tough crowd” which got a bit of laughter. The rest of his set was decent but he’d do these long protracted “faaaaarks” and then at about 5 minutes said “Fark this, I’m outta here” and left via the back door. It was pretty stylish.

Seeing as last night was the Cracker Gala at the Enmore, I guess he may have felt slightly displaced. I was on third and did pretty well. Had some banter going with a chick in the front row which was nice and had solid laughs all through the set so I'm not too displeased.

Keasty was on after me and was the last on the night. He has a patter and a genuine rapport I'm yet to develop because of my lack of MC time and he ended up winning.

Anyways, today at lunch I got a call from the organisers to ask if I wanted to come down to compete again. I told him I couldn’t make it as I don’t drive but he said that they’d try to get me down there to watch one of their gala nights or perhaps another gig later. Even if he didn’t mean it and nothing comes of it, it was still nice of him to say and I’ll take the little victories.

Go Ray. Causing one ripple at a time in this tidal wave of comedic greatness.

124 Chick is over. Hail Swine Flu.

It seems the Zeitgeist around Susan Boyle and the 124 chick has moved on from RWOC. Searches such as “hooknosed bitch” “124 girl” and “whos the susan boyle girl” no longer direct the Google through to RWOC. It’s time to now jump on the back of Swine Flu. I had a rather creative status the other day which read “I dropped the s and was pissed I got Wine Flu” which one of my mates pointed out sounds like something Amy Winhouse’s beehive would transmit.

Perhaps this picture of the Swine Flu’s origins will get me back to the top of the pile of “incidental traffic from the popular topic of the day” We can only hope...

Blobbo comes to Life.

His name is Blobbo. He is made of yellow plasticine and has a thumbtack for a top hat. He lives on my desk now.

Can you make better?

I didn’t think so. I <3 him.

Comedy in the Gong

I’m fresh off the back of two open mic nights and a gong show last week. Both Open Mic’s went well and the Gong show wasn’t too bad either. That said it was one of the drunkest, ugliest crowds I’ve seen. I got through my 5 after being gonged off stage twice. Not too sure how that happened but that’s ok. Tonight I’m part of the “Wollongong International Comedy Festival” at the Beach Hotel in Thirroul. It’s a comp of sorts so, if you’re in the area and need to laugh at my insecurities please drop by and say hi.

I’m meeting my mate Keith and he’ll be driving me down. Should be a glass and a half of comedic delight. Updates tomorrow if it went well, updated when I could be arsed if it went badly.

Understand Rap

It's kinda the Urban Dictionary for Rappers - it's Understand Rap

Take Andre 3000's Hey Ya. We all know the lyric:

"Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbour"

In case there was any ambiguity UR has the translation as:

Lets have sex, I am someone you know well.

Simplistic Gold.

ANTM - Episode 1 Wrap up

So what else happened I hear you asking?

Well let me tell you it was craziness. I've never blogged a TV series before so this should be half way amusing at some stage later. I'm going to run in point form.

• Madison is a gronky surfer chick and has prehistoric butterflies in her stomach. She looks like a grown up female version of that kid from Mad Max but more surprised
  
• Jonathan Pease is still the biggest douche in the universe. Phrases such as "No way girl" and "Study up" show that he is still incapable of saying anything halfway intelligent or constructive.
• Most of the models can't pose, that said it's their first week.
• Wayne Cooper was in the audience and he looked ready to beat someone. Probably female.
• Cassi is a bogan. She dropped an f-bomb and is 16. None of these points really effect the other. She was the centre of a media storm last week with inferred paedophilia placed upon her boy friend and for good reason. When he was 10, she was 1. That's kinda grotty.
• Frankie my favourite won immunity. Go Frank the tank
• Lola is a bit mannish.
• Cassi threw up and is annoying.
• Bitchiness in the house Part 1. The girls reckon Frankie is a bitch. The girls think Cassi is annoying. They are right about the annoying part.
• Bitchiness in the house Part 2. The girls accuse Claire of being undead.
• JP seems to jizz a bucket load over Claire's "alabaster skin" I think he's secretly a white supremecist.
• Priscilla has a snout and could be suffering from Swine Flu.
• Sarah is ace, hasn't sounded robotic and is able to hold a folder without looking like a seal trying to eat a sardine. I wonder if Jodhi is watching and crying into her fat pants and ice cream?
• Adele and Laura T are the final 2. Adele is like Zoolander, she only has one look and can't turn left, Laura T is underwhelming and therefor goes home. S2BU.
• As Laura leaves they play a rather innapropriate song which contains the lyrics "She's no Beauty" No need to kick her while she's down.

And that's the episode. Can't wait for next week. Go ANTM blogging.

ANTM - Season 5

It's just started and it's already fuct up beyond all recognition. These little teenage girls are being ripped to shit by Alex Perry and Priscilla who is one of the most inappropriate people I've seen in the fashion industry. So far there are two under 18 which means no sneaky nipple shots unfortunately.

So far Alex has gone on to say the girls are blockheads, they're fat and that they're coasty, trashed scum. Here's a guy commenting on freshness when he hasn't had a fresh look apart from a shiny shirt for the past 3 seasons.

My favourite so far is Frankie, she's kinda hot. None of them are completely hideous so far either.

My conclusion so far is that Alex Perry is a nob and some crazy 16 year old girl is full of herself.

Jonathan Pease nor his helmet hair have been involved so far either so that's ace. He is what I'd imagine a grown up, slightly sexually ambiguous lego man to turn out like. He has all the personality as a bag of vomit as well.

Go first break! I'll be back at the end of the show.

Anzac Day 2009

Not quite a protest but more of a street parade, here are my Anzac Day 2009 photos. It went through George St and involved a lot of casual observers and clapping.






I stood by the QVB statue and tried to get in the background of as many photo’s as I could. I think I counted at least 8 photo’s where I pop up. Who knows how many more I accidentally appeared in.

I should’ve bought a legacy badge. Are they only available on Rememberance Day? If so, I don’t feel so bad anymore.

Mystery Houses of Epping - Part 1

This is the first of a bold 4 part series called “Mystery Houses of Epping”

I’ve walked past people and thought to myself “What goes on inside?” and the same latent curiosity has been extended to the houses and business’ of Epping.

In the middle of developed unit blocks and retail shop front stands our first house. She is Oxford Streets shabby old lady. Abandoned in much the same fashion as someone would abandon a thermos or toiletry bag, she too stands alone dreaming of a brighter future.



Her ironclad skirting is rusted and you get the impression she couldn’t curtsey but she still maintains her mystery. What has she seen? What secrets does she keep close to her weathered frame? How many drunken revellers have leaned against her fences and urinated? How many local children have been warned to “Stay away from the freaky Scooby-Doo-esque house?”

Don’t answer those questions – they’re hypothetical’s. Instead, the next time you walk past a mystery house, take a moment to reflect upon what goes on inside, much like you would wonder what’s going on inside the mind of that drunken uncle that embarrasses himself at children’s parties by soiling himself.

Singstar Queen.

I just bought Singstar Queen for PS2 and it’s tops. PS3 gets Killer Queen and I’m a bit miffed but what can you do? Buy a PS3. Good point.

What both versions are missing though is Flash. I’d love to be able to do that heavily accented Russian voice in freestyle and say “Dispatch Warlock and Ajax to bring back his Body” but I can’t. I can only do it in the private of the toilet cubicles on those interurban trains. I reckon I’d do an awesome laser impression too “Peow, peow”

Please enjoy the film clip while you think of my laser impression.

Thermos and Bag

Two very different items, two very differnet locations however they shared a similar fate: abandonment.



The first, above, is a toiletry bag. Last seen at Epping station it was dirty, battered and left alone. T-Bag as it's finder affectionately calls it, faces an uncertain future in a world that no longer cares for it's bright orange optimism.



The second is a thermos. Last seen at Kirribilli fraternising with empty longneck bottles of VB, it is the last place that it's makers would've imagined it. Just like the shadow artistically breaking the light of this photo, it's future is cast in shadow and doubt.

GPO Army Drop - Contact

You may remember a couple of weeks ago we dropped by an art gallery and dropped off some army men.

We were asked back by the curator a week later and I dropped off about 40 more men. I arranged them around tables, exhibits and the doorway and left. We didn't hear anything else from them and we thought that we may have gone too far. That was until an email today.

Hi there,

Well hello gorgeous.

Just a short note to thank you for your contribution to the dinner event held here at NG Art Gallery a couple of weeks ago, with the planting of the poetry soldiers.

A pleasure I assure you. Thanks for taking the time out from your schedule to write.

As they did at the exhibition opening reception, again at the dinner event they caused a great deal of conversation.

As we had hoped. Poems about sodomy, burns victims and eating animals tend to illicit a response.

We actually still have two left on the gallery window sill that clients often notice, it's an interesting concept you're working with.

Don't leave the two of them posted by themselves for too long. The other soldiers may start spreading rumours. Sounds a bit too Brokeback for me.

Once again cheers,
NG Art Gallery

Once again thaks for taking the time to write.

I replied in kind today. Wanna see what I wrote? Of course you do.

Hi,

Thanks for getting in contact. I hope the dinner was just as tasteful as the poetry. Your kind words are encouraging as it isn't just the act of deploying the army men that is rewarding; it is illiciting reactions and responses from our audience that drives us as I'm sure you could appreciate. All in all, I'm glad that we were able to contribute and enrich your dinner with conversation topics. If you would like army men, plastic dinosaurs or miniature farm animals at a future exhibit or function all you need to do is let us know and we'll be happy to assist in a heartbeat.

I'm also heartened by the fact you've made an exhibit of sorts of the soldiers that were left behind. These watchful sentinels of the poetry world are the true heroes. That is perhaps overplaying their importance, however they are our medium and we're thankful you've kept them in a prominent place.

Thanks once again for your kindness and hospitality and all the best.

The literary ball is in your court NG.

For the time being here are some photo's of that fateful night. The third photo has a picture of a floating hippo by my mate scribla. He managed to sell it. As yet there are no buyers for our army men.

Slurpies and Redundant Prizes

I bought a Slurpie at 7/11 and they have an O.S.O.S. promotion or Official Sport of Slurping. It’s a promotion whereby they are trying to legitimise drinking sugar filled icy treats by awarding prizes to a Hot Dog eating competition. That’s cool and all but why did I win a sweatband today?



I’ve never seen anyone breaking into a sweat while slurping. Maybe that’s where the irony lies and if that’s the case, tip of the cap and well played to you sir. If not it’s kinda redundant. Maybe it’s because April has been quite cold and they want to ensure that people don’t get too cold while they slurp.

It’s still pretty kickarse though and I intend to take this baby onto the streets. O.S.O.S. represent!

XBox Obituary

At 8:35pm last night Ray’s Xbox was pronounced dead. Raybox as he was known to friends and family was an enthusiastic and loving three year old who spent most of his time in the guest room. The suddenness of his death has hit hard as there was none of the symptomatic “red ring of death” syndrome prevalent in other Xbox deaths. The only notice served was a slight discolouration in graphics. Raybox’s condition deteriorated rapidly after the discolouration with a laboured start up, loud fanning and eventually loss of vision. Assuming it was the component cable Ray attempted to revive Raybox by sourcing outside parts. In an operation which is said to be as technical as open heart surgery, the new component cable was rushed in and fitted at 8:30pm but it was too little too late, Raybox expired 5 minutes later.

Electronics Boutique has been contacted in regards to disposal of the body, however they will treat Raybox as faulty goods and are only willing to pay $15 for it because of it's age. Upon separation of the parts the Hard drive will fetch $55 and the controllers about half that, however the dismembering of the body is something that Raybox’s family hope to do without as he won’t make it into the Console After life if he’s in a million little pieces.

Ray is considering mounting Raybox on the mantle as a reminder of the good times they shared, like online Madden 2008 matches and the completion of Saints Row 2 through to the viewing of downloadable content like Robbie Williams’ back catalogue and Tenancious D’s Pick Of Destiny filmclip. Mourners are asked not to send flowers but contribute direct to Ray’s paypal account for an adequate replacement.

The ceremony will take place this Sunday, however it will just be family and close acquaintances. The family has asked for the public’s respect in the mourning process.

Raybox – April 2006 – April 2009

Beloved Console and multimedia solution. You inspired consoles around you like Slim (PS2) and Peebody (Wii)
You weren’t just a console, you were a friend and companion. You truly put the Soul into Console.
Raybox - May you continue with unlimited lives

Fireporsche

One of the best 80's shows ever.



The blurb reads

"A bootleg copy of the opening sequence for the pilot episode of Fireporsche. Sorry about the quality, it was really hard to track down a decent version. Very different from the standard intro in that there's no episode footage, just shots from the pilot, also Randall Hammer's hairstyle and look is quite different to the actual series. Most notably is the spelling of Fire Porsche as two separate words before the show was retitled Fireporsche for the series proper."

Help bring it back S Club 7 style.

Men Wear Paper Hats and Bratz Capes

The weekend of unusual clothing continued at Milsons Point Station. As I left the station to meet Jamie I noticed this man.

He was wearing a paper hat. I admit it was very well constructed but it was still a paper hat. Seeing as my camera takes a while to get ready I had to walk at time and a half to catch him which I did as is proved above. He seemed to know a couple of people so perhaps I've made enemies. Maybe he's just a paper hat wearing freak that I should laugh at. I think that's pretty accurate.

Later that evening I was at the urinals and noticed the guy above at the trough. I said "Nice cape" but he ignored me. I waited outside the toilet with my camera ready and took a snap shot which wasn't that good. I headed him at the pass and waited for him to enter the ticket gates and took the photo above as he walked up the stairs. He was wearing a Bratz blanket. If it were GI Joe that'd be cool, if it were Strawberry Shortcake that'd be kinda faggy but retro cool, if it were Barbie it'd be old woman vintage toy cool but not Bratz. Bratz are by definition spoilt little kids. The fact that they're tricked out make up wearing doe eyed dolls make them the tarts of the toy world. They should be shot on sight and so should guys wearing their blankets straight after they've handed in their penis' to the man club.

Pictures of Sydney

No witticisms, just some photo's.

Enjoy.

Magic Missiles will destroy ya.

Great Jumper that we saw yesterday.

In the latest of my seemingly unrelated D&D posts it reads; 

"Guns don't kill people, magic missiles do"

I was so aroused that if it were a mountain it'd be the Matterhorn.

What does that even mean? You're losing it Cashman...

World for all People

We did it. Jamie posted over at Alphabet Soup the results of our escapades.

Here's my favorite photo.

It points to hope and all sorts of hella good times. That and little worried chicks.

I hope Rick cracks a chubby over it.

Junktique

On the way to Glebe I happened across a recycled furniture store. It was about a block down from UTS and it was rustically charming.

They had a desk in there, the type that I used to have in 5th grade. I used to funk up those babies with old peanut butter sandwiches and oranges. If I could be bothered I'd go back and pick it up for $99.



They also had a sword rack. I don't even have a sword let alone multiple swords to necessitate a sword rack.



After the sword rack I got aroused by a naked doll. Avid RWOC readers will remember the last time I saw a naked doll was in Melbourne during a protest.



What a saucy minx. I especially love her tousled hair and come hither eyes. The fact that she's spread eagled is the final invitation.

You better get there quick though. It's the last sale ever. You'll never be able to get another thing at a sale.

High School Musical Fan

I was in the city yesterday and it was lovely. I saw a lot of strange and exciting things. Like this High School Musical Fan.



Nothing screams "Poon Magnet" like a tight pink HSM singlet.

Trees get haxx0red

They’ve hacked the crap out of the trees on our end of Christie St. I get that they’ve done it so they don’t mess with the power cables but now it looks a bit brutal and ugly. Essentially they’ve turned these trees into amputees and who wants to walk down a road lined with amputees? It was ok in Saving Private Ryan but not on my watch.

LOLcatz the Musical

Andrew Lloyd Webber is turning LOLcats into a musical. His title track will be called MEMEory.

Asia Mart.

There’s a new Asia Mart in town. It opened at the site of the failed Wiener house on the Pacific Hwy at St Leonards and is funnily enough called Asia Mart. That whole row of shops isn’t very inspiring for success. There’s the Dry Cleaners, then the dodgy pizza place. There’s the Columbian Crack Dealers who decided to move, then there’s Sierra which is lovely and I try to go to every now and again. Next is Asia Mart, the NKOTB. After that is The New Arthurs which has been shut as far as I can tell for about 10 years. The old Arthurs must’ve been total crap. Next up is the bank which turned into the nature care college enrolment office and is now a squat for the homeless. After that is the vacant Retrovision where I bought our landline phone from about 3 ½ years ago. Memories. Finally there’s the 7/11 and we all know what I think of that.

It seems to me the key to success is ensuring you get one of the corner stores. Shops that exist in the middle of the block of death seem to fade out quickly. I’ll let you know how Asia Mart goes.

What’s the Story Morning Glory?

A guide to peeing with wood /via sexhax

Pretty self explanatory but it’s a serious problem. I do something similar to the lunge or the plank. My favourite is the Superman.

"If you're a man of steel in the morning, you might as well be a superhero. Tie on the bedsheet for a cape, mount the bowl in a single bound, and make like you're flying. Hopefully the pressure relief will be like Kryptonite for your boner"

Perhaps NSFW. Up to you to decide I guess.

Shake it like a Polaroid Picture...of a baby.

Some iPhone related news here at SMH.com

Some developer has made a game where you shake your crying baby to death by using the iPhone's shake function and acceleromator. Winner! Here's a screen grab.



The red X's mean the baby has died. Morbidly fascinating I know.

I’m pretty appalled to be honest. Why did the developers stop there? Why not make a coathanger game where you have to scrape out the fetus. That way there’s a 0% chance of the baby crying but a 50% chance it’ll clog up your bath tub and a 75% chance your girlfriend will be infertile.

Johnson and Friends - Scary

One of my mates mentioned accordions in a Twitter and so I got to thinking about Johnson and Friends and McDuff who was an accordion. The logistics of her movement never seemed to trouble me when I watched it back in the day but they do now. How would she move around? Shuffling?



Another point is her face, above, which although is pleasing and semi arousing it’s essentially a handle with two buttons. Based on the symmetry of an accordion, I would assume that there would be a handle and buttons on the other side too. Which means that there’s a face on her feet. Why is her face the one that they focus on? How would this make any movement possible at all? What is wrong with the other face? Is it the Quasimodo of accordion faces? Maybe the other face is evil or has Tourette’s and shouts stuff like “Johnson is a fat pink poofter” Or maybe it’s a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen time share role and the face is exactly the same so it looks like there’s one face but there’s actually two of them operating like a tag team.

Here’s a clip from Youtube of the title theme which is quite catchy. As the description says it’s a “MAD AS TV SHOW!” Mad as what? Kids these days and their lack of adjectives.

Comedy Round Up

I had a gig last night at the Edge which was ace. I did my Sophie Delezio joke to start with and it went well. I think I’ll fill the rest of this post with positive but mild adjectives like swell, cool and choice.

I’m at the Raglan tonight so that should be fun as well. I hope. I’ll let you know.

Protect Brick!

It looks like the wizards guild of Epping have gotten together and cast a protect brick and protect plate spell. All the bricks and plates in Epping can now walk down the street safe I'm the knowledge they have said protection.



No gangs of roving cutlery will ever hurt them again.

Road 85% or there abouts

If Oxford st were a loading bar for an illegal download, I think it's be at about 85%. They've resurfaced it and made it wider but they need to finish guttering and put in bollarrds.

Bollard is a funny word isn't it? I think it's a combo of bolt and retard. Not 100% sure, I'd have to get back to you on that one.

Vin Diesel has a THAC0 of 3

Wow, Vin Diesel is a nerd.



I played D & D when I was growing up so I'm a nerd too. I had a halfling called Magnus Cranium and I would ride my Pony called Caecilius. I trained a wolf called Foxy and had a shuriken I dipped in poison and fisted people with. It was da bomb.

Back to the video, the looks Vin gets at 1:03 - 1:05 are gold.

Easter Show and Sophie

On Monday the Telegraph ran a full page photo on little Sophie Delezio riding the Giant Slide at the Easter show. It was a touching photo and it was great to see her smiling again. The operators of the Dodgem Cars decided to shut them down and wisely too I may add based on Sophie’s inability to actually dodgem in the past.

What? As if a joke’s going to hurt her. She’s been hit by a car twice and survived. She’s invincible!

Fripples

It was cold this morning and a guy had fripples. I looked and while they weren’t big they were quite pointy. He caught me looking and it got weird. I looked down but looked again and he caught me looking the second time. I had to force myself to look out the window for the rest of the trip.

Speaking of fripples, have you noticed that Asians get the best fripples? Why is that?

The guy incidentally was not asian, he was just a large white guy who was freakin cos an Asian dude was nippling him out.

Commas ruin the effect

The calculator option on the iPhone is nifty but the commas ruin the
fun.

Stand on your head and look at the image below. You know it says
boobies but the commas get in the way like phantom garbage bins on the
sidewalk when your drunk and walking home. Not good.

Haiku

Want to write haikus
But there's no inspiration
Just cunts on a bus

The 1:24 Susan Boyle Chick

It seems as though a lot of people are looking for info on her. To be honest I'm not too sure what people expect to find? Perhaps a written note explaining who she is, where she lives and why she made a wrong head while waiting for Susan to sing. I don't understand it either.

Apparently someone else has been moved enough to blog about her. It's over at Deeper Waters which seems to be some preachy Christian blog that uses the word "Sickens" a lot. They kinda have a point albeit in a very rambling manner, but I'm not really sure what it is.

Anyways, with the Susan Boyle clip there's some chick with a double chin who kinda turkey scoffs at 1:37 but no-one's really hated on her yet. I guess the point DW is trying to make is that 1:24 girl happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and is now being hated on when it could've been one of us. Is that reason to go on about being sickened for another 700 odd words? No. At the very least I hope that DW is feeling better from being so sickened. That and they've toughened the fuck up. It's life.

Hopefully 1:24 girl will get through this ok. If not, who gives a shit, she's some girl who made a face.

As a bonus, here she is making that face.

Guitar Hero Greatest Hits

Activision has announced they're bringing out Guitar Hero Greatest Hits on June 16. Apparently they're looking at 48 tracks from GH 1, 2 & 3 and 80's.

They've just released GH1's songs. It's over here via PALGN.

I can't wait to rock out to No one knows, Killer Queen and More than a Feeling. It's going to be sensationally hot. Not so hot will be 80's which was a bit of a disappointment really. Apart from that Go-Go's song and I Ran there wasn't too much I enjoyed playing. Ah well...

Anyways, check out the actual GH site over here for more news.

Sleeping man looks suspiciously pregnant

As promised I'm using my new mobilc capabilities for blogging on the
go. Here is my first mobile photo post. Thanks for allowing me to
share it with you.

I caught the train to the city today and saw this bloke.

He is the proud father to be of a food baby that seems to have been gestating for the last 50 years. Baby making is hard work so he's taking a nap. I hope it's a boy.

Nacho = Susan

This got mentioned in my earlier Susan Boyle post. Let's do it.



Nacho Libre



Susan Boyle.

Yeah, I can see that. Now that's been established, I ask you this. Is it worse that Susan Boyle looks like a fictional Mexican Wrestler or that Jack Black can be made up to look like a 47 year old, virginal English Villager?

Awkward Restaraunt Bail

We went to Beschico in Epping last night for dinner after an unsuccessful Meat Raffle at the RSL. We didn't bother reading the menu before we got in and were shocked to see they wanted to charge us $29 for a whole fried chicken and no sides. At that point we decided to bail, however the waiter wandered up and asked us if we were ready to order. We said no and he walked off. We picked up our bags and walked out just after we handed back the menus to the waiter with a curt "thank you"

I know it's a dining experience eating in a restaraunt and all but, I don't think frying a chicken and asking for $29 is all that fair. The fact that no-one was in there when we did our bail kinda backs us up a little.

Here's a review from the Northern District Times which doesn't seem to mention you need to mortgage your testicles to be able to afford said chicken. We ended up going to Korean BBQ instead and Ris got drunk on Soju.



Cheers!

Velociraptor Awareness Day hits Epping

This was at the ped x-ing at Epping.



It reads:

This here is not safe!
A message from the Velociraptor Awareness Day Committee

This area has been noted as a possible Velociraptor entry point.
Help prevent the loss of life in the next attack by securing this area.

Velociraptor Awareness Day - April 18

I love public mischief projects as evidenced here, here and here. I wish they'd left more of a call to action. Unless this isn't a public mischief project and a real warning. If that's the case, Epping's fuct.

Bonnet Down!

The lost clothing phenomenon continues.



There's going to be a small child with a cold head in the big city tonight.

Blogger - Turning into Twitter

You may have seen Mobile Post which was just that, a mobile post. The fact that I sent it from my computer chair doesn't make it any less of a mobile post. I guess that Blogger is not going for that Twitter spontaneity. I've gotta try it while I'm out and about today then.

Apparently you can set up posting by MMS as well but why would you when you can email? Jerks.

Mobile post

Does this even work? If so I'm taking RWOC on the road baby!

Hammer on a Hammock in Hawaii

MC Hammer is in Hawaii. I know because he told me via twitter.

Here's Hammer in a Hammock. Too legit man.

Susan Boyle Hype

I got sent the Susan Boyle clip yesterday and I admit it's pretty kick arse. If you haven't seen it yet it's over here.

What I want to look at today though is the youtube comments proving once again that teh intrawebz brings people together.

Like this one from Maninurhat:

"okay she can be ugly and a good singer, its possible."

It's nice to know he now has an open mind. How about this from stellaritsmeg which I read as Stellar it smeg:

"she looks like a dog, yet about 50,000 me would marry her right now."

Is that me or is it possible in your haste to flame and haxx0r you forgot an n there smeggy? Nice of you to represent the thoughts of 50,000 men as well. Perhaps a slight exaggeration there. How about the very observant ihateprovos2:

"She looks like Nacho Libre"

Just without the mask but some commenters would suggest it would help. There's the very sceptical CousinSusie with:

"I really dont think that is Susan Boyle sing that song folks, listen to her accent singing this song and then go listen to the other one, cry me a river, there is no accent whats so ever, really !! Listen to them both and you tell me? I think its going to turn out to be a hoax you watch!!"

Way to form your opinions in broken English Cousin. Nice work. If it is a hoax you know where you heard it first. Then there's the plain rude from pasdecouilles2:

"BRITAIN needs face transplants" ^^

Straight to the point. It's not just Susan that cops it. The unimpressed eye rolling chick at 1:24 into the clip cops a barrage as well. They are now known as Girl 1:24 haters apparently. Here's one called HiImBobTehBuilder:

"Susan is a phinomenon!!! teh ho from1:24
shuld bern in teh iternal flames w/ satan and teh gang! muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!"

Riiiight. Or from shahmito87 :

"that girl at 1:25 will go down in history as the face of all of you who got PWNED for thinking susan was going to suck."

PWNS0R that. How about from trigney1992:

"Susan Is Amazing<3>
But The Bitch At 1:24 Sucks!
lmfao
People Are Now Going To Refer To Her As:
"1:24"
(: haha"

Wow. A lot of hate there. Finally from yvonneost12 :

"Hook nosed young bitch in the audiance should go get a nose job, teach her to be judgemental....typical young person noones as good as them.bet she can't sing like susan.......hope she wins........and they show the young girl worldwide being a smartarse
judgemental &^%$#%$#"

Whoa. Not only does yvonneost12 rag on hook nosed bitches but she also takes on young people as being sufferers of hook nose as well. She also felt that whatever she was going to call Girl 1:24 at the end was far too graphic for youtube and censored it. "&^%$#%$#". What's an 8 letter curse word. Can I buy a vowel?

Here are some more comments from the idealistic through to the racial and inspired and just bizarre. Thanks youtube!

"i hate how the people laughed at her when she couldn't say villages, it is really hard to speak clearly in front of millions of people, and i hope all the people who watched this including me never judge someone by their looks again."

Your idealism astounds me.

"Have never up to this point ever mad a comment online until this day! Susan you do us folks at our young age well. Best of luck to you and can not wait to get your CD. Wonder if any network is going to do a story about you! ?"

Inspiring geriatrics to log on and make comments. Keep wondering partner, no-one's going to touch this story. Seems to be of little to no human interest value in there whatsoever.

"Native Americans are the real Americans -- All you are is the descendant of an immigrant who stole their country. And you could learn a few things from that proud race. Now go back to bed and suck your thumb."

That proud race definitely don't hide in bed and thumb suck. I don't even know where this flame war got started.

"She's like the Mother Teresa of singers."

Come on, that's a bit much isn't it? Mother Teresa didn't look like Nacho Libre.

Monday Shenanigans

On Easter Monday we went and had dinner with the in-laws. It rained pretty hardcore. Here’s the stormwater drain at Central Station near the YHA. Moist.



We went to the little claw place at Capitol Theatre before we went to dinner and we witnessed a sensational teen breakdown. In hindsight I wish I’d recorded it like I did with the spackers last night but what can you do?



Anyways, this girl about 14 or so was throwing a proper tantrum with foot stomping and pouting and everything. She was whining in some asian language to her mum who wasn't taking any crap at all. She switched to english and we picked up that she was sick of wasting her money and it wasn't fair that the machines were taking it all and not letting her win and she was over it complete with tears. Seriously, grow some balls, man up and don't gamble you whiny little bitch.

Dinner was at Mamak and it was so good. It's the best Nasi Lemak (with optional Lamb Curry) ever and all for $10.90 too. Here's some dude watching stuff happen.



It wouldn't have been a proper night out without some crazy Asian food/signage and it didn't disappoint.



That's right. Coassack Foal. I don't even know what to say. Russian baby horse? Speechless...

Fight Night!

We went to dinner at the Bangkok Sidewalk Café in Kirribilli last night and it was ace. We got prawn spring rolls as a starter and duck curry in a carved out pineapple and a sensational stir fried pumpkin dish as well as a fish green curry.



All in all it was a lovely meal with lovely company. That was until a daddy daughter combo started shouting it up behind us.

As far as we could tell it was about Amy (the daughter’s) impending wedding. Daddy didn’t think that people from Wellington would be willing to pay to fly out and attend the wedding and that’s where it got nasty. In between requests to fuck off and to calm down and be reasonable, Daddy wasn’t all that nice. Below is a link for just over 1 minute of unedited fight recording. It only lasts 10 days so listen to it before it vanishes.

Link!

Kid cycles from Brisbane

Some kid called Ethan Johnson with Aspergers (pronounced Ass Burgers) cycled from Brisbane to Merrylands in NSW. Sick!

When he got there his BMX wasn't hotted up enough and his sound system didn't have enough bass so he had to do a mad skid and turn around again, that's where authorities caught him.

Read more here from SMH.

I don't know about you but cycling from one state to another has shades of Forrest Gump to it (unless you're in Albury/Wodonga) True, he has Aspergers but he did the ride to prove to bullies that he's "no idiot" If I was still in school and a bully I'm sure as shit that I'd have a field day with this. If you want people to stop bullying you get some mad spokey dokes, do sick skids and pop ollies on the gutter. You then double hot chicks on your handle bar and get mad air off phat ramps but you don't ever ride 900 kms and then sleep in truckers stops where the inference of sodomy and Man-Boy love is easily applied.

All he's achieved is status as the poor man's "Boy Who Could Fly" who I reckon had some form of Aspergers as well, however, he could fly and didn't need his mom to put money into his savings account. Here's the final scenes.



What a massive gayist.

Jamie Foxx is Class

Apparently Jamie Foxx has been heard making inappropriate comments about Miley Cyrus on Radio. He said somthing along the lines of "make a sex tape and grow up" He then goes on to say "She needs a gum transplant" I don't watch much porn, yes I do, but the point is if she's to make a successful sex tape, she probably needs more gum than teeth to please her man.

Also, in suggesting that she grows up and makes a sex tape, I'm glad to see that he hasn't followed the ways of R.Kelly and Mystikal who would be of the opinion that Miley at 16 is about 3 years too old to appear in a sex tape.

via SMH

Canadian Correspondance

Jamie has been corresponding with a Canadian guy in regards to the GPO.

Read about it over at Alphabet Soup Vomit

Highlights include:

• It is just a youtube music video project ... about making a better world.....Idealistic I know, but it can't hurt to try. (There's one born every minute)
• I think the "world for all people" message would come across stronger if we were to disrobe.
• I LOVE the idea of having some of the pictures with people who have disrobed, it will surprise people when they appear among the others.
• there are plenty of other people who I am sure would be interested. There was a picture in the paper today of Australia's basketball team for the dwarf Olympics
• Clothed or Unclothed - although again if unclothed caution would be required. ;-)

And so it continues. Read it and marvel at either the most naieve and genuinely good person in the history of the world or a criminal mastermind playing Jamie at his own game.

Stunt Plane Spew

Two chicks and a bag. Hot.

Watch the chick on the left.



A step by step commentary for the chick on the right would go.

"Wow this is fun"
"We're going upside down!"
"Is that liquid on my leg?"
"Did she spew?"
"Wow that's kinda gross, I should keep smiling"
"That smells kinda bad"

What a homo

Clear that he loves the sausage.



I'm pretty sure that it's still quite illegal for this kid to indulge in homo acts for another 10 or so years at least.

The comments are what get me though. The pages of homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo homo
are the best.

Ray's...harm

Because I love reading about my exploits I've made an RWOC link on my iPhone so now I can stay up to date with my favourite blog wherever I am. I suggest you do the same.

I took a screen dump of my iPhone to show you but it actually says "Ray's...harm" which is kinda ominous don't you think? I could self harm at any second. Or not.

I don't like how it's the only app without a photo as well. I should have a word to someone about it. A blog like that needs a badge and displays and all sorts of stuff.

Animal Crossing isn't PC

We're friends with Mac to an extent in Animal Crossing. We found him in our town today and he had this to say.



I thought he said dripping. That would've been fantastic if he did...

This isn't the first time one of our animals has said something inappropriate. Avery said this a while ago. Admittedly, we kinda made him say it, however if we told him to walk off a cliff would he? Probably because he can fly. You know what I mean...