Hope y'all have a good on and that 2009 brings you all the charm your world can handle.
Oh Yeah!
Here's a firework that's celebrating against a background of blue.
What would an unemployed firework be called I wonder? A fired?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year!
Well I'm off to make myself pretty for tonight. We're doing an all night kegger at our mates place in the city so it should be well moist. I was meant to have a comedy gig tonight but it got cancelled due to lack of interest. I will have to try harder next year.
Hope y'all have a good on and that 2009 brings you all the charm your world can handle.
Oh Yeah!
Here's a firework that's celebrating against a background of blue.
What would an unemployed firework be called I wonder? A fired?
Hope y'all have a good on and that 2009 brings you all the charm your world can handle.
Oh Yeah!
Here's a firework that's celebrating against a background of blue.
What would an unemployed firework be called I wonder? A fired?
Stuff we've got recently
It's not Xmas related but it's stuff we got and both examples of stuff are cool and they both have stacks in common.
First up is our brand new Cake Mixer. I can't wate to bust this bad boy out on some cake batter. I'm going to name him Mix Master Mike or Ken as in, are you going to mix up a cake? No, but Ken Wood...get it? Hilarious.
Next up is our Chain Chomp. I won him from a skill tester in Chinatown. Take that Capitol theatre triads! Do chain chomps even have genders? Can I refer to it as a he? It has a chain though and what a chain so I reckon it's a dude. It also has nothing to do with cake mixers so I lied to you again. I'm sorry.
First up is our brand new Cake Mixer. I can't wate to bust this bad boy out on some cake batter. I'm going to name him Mix Master Mike or Ken as in, are you going to mix up a cake? No, but Ken Wood...get it? Hilarious.
Next up is our Chain Chomp. I won him from a skill tester in Chinatown. Take that Capitol theatre triads! Do chain chomps even have genders? Can I refer to it as a he? It has a chain though and what a chain so I reckon it's a dude. It also has nothing to do with cake mixers so I lied to you again. I'm sorry.
Hat Gets Left Behind
More clothing with no owners.
This time it was hat at the station. It's going to be a lonely NYE for this little guy if someone doesn't claim him soon.
At least it isn't another fucking shoe.
This time it was hat at the station. It's going to be a lonely NYE for this little guy if someone doesn't claim him soon.
At least it isn't another fucking shoe.
Yum Cha People
I like laughing at people, especially asians that can't dress themselves. What better place to get food and laugh at people than at our local Yum Cha?
Seeing as these were covert photo's the full effect of how crap these people were probably won't be fully portrayed but let's try together ok?
First up above was Comb over guy. He's wearing the blue shirt. He was in the middle of growing his comb over and so he had this crazy ball of fluff to the left of his bald patch. I should've just wandered up and taken a better photo of him. Oh well, my mistake.
The other person we laughed at was pink ribbon lady to the right of the picture above. She wore a pink ribbon sash over a violet dress and an olive long sleeved shirt. She was a rainbow of spew. That is all really...
Seeing as these were covert photo's the full effect of how crap these people were probably won't be fully portrayed but let's try together ok?
First up above was Comb over guy. He's wearing the blue shirt. He was in the middle of growing his comb over and so he had this crazy ball of fluff to the left of his bald patch. I should've just wandered up and taken a better photo of him. Oh well, my mistake.
The other person we laughed at was pink ribbon lady to the right of the picture above. She wore a pink ribbon sash over a violet dress and an olive long sleeved shirt. She was a rainbow of spew. That is all really...
Velour Mary
Is on sale. She has Pink Glitter Donkey for company.
If you ask (which you did) it would've been one gay manger at xmas. Am I right? Those crazy pieces of xmas crap...
If you ask (which you did) it would've been one gay manger at xmas. Am I right? Those crazy pieces of xmas crap...
Mask!
It's 80's TV show time again. This is perhaps the greatest cartoon theme song ever.
If you wanted to pour 80's cock rock into a theme song, well this is pretty much the blueprint.
I used to watch this all the time. I'd have massive issues with T-bot, the robot thing that the kid used to ride. He looks like a retarded R2D2 which isn't right.
Also a lot of focus is placed upon the masks when, in reality the vehicles should get equal billing. Mask and Cars doesn't quite have the same ring though does it?
I managed to find the words lost in the commments which are just flat out awesome. Tee them up for your next karaoke night.
So totally kick ass...
If you wanted to pour 80's cock rock into a theme song, well this is pretty much the blueprint.
I used to watch this all the time. I'd have massive issues with T-bot, the robot thing that the kid used to ride. He looks like a retarded R2D2 which isn't right.
Also a lot of focus is placed upon the masks when, in reality the vehicles should get equal billing. Mask and Cars doesn't quite have the same ring though does it?
I managed to find the words lost in the commments which are just flat out awesome. Tee them up for your next karaoke night.
"Mask crusaders,
Working all the time, fighting crime, fighting crime!
Secret raiders, who will neutralise, as soon as they arrive,
Trekker's gonna lead the mission,
And Spectum's got such super vision,
M-m-m-MASK!
Is the mighty power that can save the day,
m-m-m-MASK!
No-one knows what lies behind their masquerades!
M-m-m-MASK!
Always riding on Venom's trail,
Come see the Laser Rays,
Fly away!"
So totally kick ass...
Monday, December 29, 2008
Shoes on the Bin
Another installment in what seems to be an endless saga. Shoes on the street!
Come on man! These still look totally wearable!
If I were a forensic investigator I'd try to link the pizza box folded and stuffed in the bin with the shoes. Something like hallucinogenic mushrooms as a topping forced some young emo to take of their checked vans and walk the streets shoeless but I'm not an investigator and if I was it would be a waste of time and resources wouldn't it? We'll just have to wonder.
Come on man! These still look totally wearable!
If I were a forensic investigator I'd try to link the pizza box folded and stuffed in the bin with the shoes. Something like hallucinogenic mushrooms as a topping forced some young emo to take of their checked vans and walk the streets shoeless but I'm not an investigator and if I was it would be a waste of time and resources wouldn't it? We'll just have to wonder.
Those Crazy Koreans...
We went to Karaoke and had Korean for dinner beforehand on Saturday night. This was one of the house specials.
Yum. Go to any hairdresser and go through their bins. Collect 500gm of discarded hair, and simmer on low heat in secret sauce for 30 mins. Add seasonal greens and serve! Those crazy Koreans what did I tellsya?
As mentioned we went to karaoke afterwards and we sang songs to appalling music videos. Below are stills from the clip for "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It focused on dismembered doll parts for a good 4 minutes of the song and some kid with an awful bowl cut and esteem issues. I was too slow but at the start he melted a soldier in the toaster. What a tool, we all know the microwave is the place to be for plastics.
Yum. Go to any hairdresser and go through their bins. Collect 500gm of discarded hair, and simmer on low heat in secret sauce for 30 mins. Add seasonal greens and serve! Those crazy Koreans what did I tellsya?
As mentioned we went to karaoke afterwards and we sang songs to appalling music videos. Below are stills from the clip for "Bohemian Rhapsody"
It focused on dismembered doll parts for a good 4 minutes of the song and some kid with an awful bowl cut and esteem issues. I was too slow but at the start he melted a soldier in the toaster. What a tool, we all know the microwave is the place to be for plastics.
Xmas and stuff
It wasn't too bad. We had the fam over and then spent Xmas at the fam's place and on Boxing day I had some mates over and we drank one of those Heineken kegs. Hotness.
On Xmas day I cooked my Pork Belly and it was pretty decent for a first up attempt. It's all about a slow release of heat and getting all the fat basting the meat I found. We had some crackling left in the morning and so I put it in the microwave and it popped like popcorn. It was so freakin awesome and tasty too. Here's a picture of me preparing my pork belly. The scoring was done with a Stanley knife. Hardcore.
Present wise I got some stuff and I got a kick ass RC Helicopter. I'm not too good at flying it yet but just you wait, I'll be a pilot soon. The instructions suggest you should get a qualified pilot to help you fly it for the first time. Well see thing is, I reckon most qualified pilots will be doing stuff like flying planes to worry about my shitty RC copter and on top of that I only know 2 pilots and one of them is a moron and the other one, well I don't really know him that well at all so perhaps I kinda lied when I said I know two. My story is falling apart...gotta go...
I'll leave you with Ris and Ryan watching the sun set on this Xmas period. Ahhh...
On Xmas day I cooked my Pork Belly and it was pretty decent for a first up attempt. It's all about a slow release of heat and getting all the fat basting the meat I found. We had some crackling left in the morning and so I put it in the microwave and it popped like popcorn. It was so freakin awesome and tasty too. Here's a picture of me preparing my pork belly. The scoring was done with a Stanley knife. Hardcore.
Present wise I got some stuff and I got a kick ass RC Helicopter. I'm not too good at flying it yet but just you wait, I'll be a pilot soon. The instructions suggest you should get a qualified pilot to help you fly it for the first time. Well see thing is, I reckon most qualified pilots will be doing stuff like flying planes to worry about my shitty RC copter and on top of that I only know 2 pilots and one of them is a moron and the other one, well I don't really know him that well at all so perhaps I kinda lied when I said I know two. My story is falling apart...gotta go...
I'll leave you with Ris and Ryan watching the sun set on this Xmas period. Ahhh...
Mysterious Cities Of Gold
Well it's December 29 and I promised fun and games and here it is. I present to you the opening theme to the Mysterious Cities of Gold.
The intro voice guy just gives me the horn. To be honest I didn't even remember the animation being this bad but I did remember the theme song. I used to eat my dinner as fast as possible just so I could get back to the TV and watch this on ABC back in like 1986. It used to be on at about 6pm or so, I guess we used to have dinner early back then.
The intro voice guy just gives me the horn. To be honest I didn't even remember the animation being this bad but I did remember the theme song. I used to eat my dinner as fast as possible just so I could get back to the TV and watch this on ABC back in like 1986. It used to be on at about 6pm or so, I guess we used to have dinner early back then.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Merry Xmas
Well, y'all have a good one. I'll probably be posting sporadically throughout. Expect something on December 29, should be a massive day.
Sickness
I went to a Xmas party on Saturday and it was quite good. It was at Manly and there was meat and beer and bourbon and a slurpie maker which was perhaps one of the greatest things ever. I wish I had taken more photos of it but I was too busy drinking them to have this foresight and this drinking ultimately was my ruin.
I had to get home because we were meant to meet people and I tried to make it a reasonable hour however getting home to Epping from Manly sucks balls. I caught a ferry, then a train, changed at Central waited for 20 mins and got home 2 hours after departure from Manly.
The combination of a long night, ferry travel and rich food and alcohol consumption took it's toll on me and I was in a lot of pain when I got to Epping.
I started to walk home along the tagged road when our local Noodle Dude Sam stopped me to chat about the xmas trading period. I tried to keep it brief and got away after about 3 minutes. I walked about 100m further down the road and a massive wave of Nausea hit and I threw up in front of the church, the scary abandoned house, the gardens in front of the vacant office space and the corner of the school. It was epic.
I now feel good enough to share it all with you. Merry Xmas!
Here's something I prepared earlier...
We called it the Eye of Sauron. The story is for another time.
I had to get home because we were meant to meet people and I tried to make it a reasonable hour however getting home to Epping from Manly sucks balls. I caught a ferry, then a train, changed at Central waited for 20 mins and got home 2 hours after departure from Manly.
The combination of a long night, ferry travel and rich food and alcohol consumption took it's toll on me and I was in a lot of pain when I got to Epping.
I started to walk home along the tagged road when our local Noodle Dude Sam stopped me to chat about the xmas trading period. I tried to keep it brief and got away after about 3 minutes. I walked about 100m further down the road and a massive wave of Nausea hit and I threw up in front of the church, the scary abandoned house, the gardens in front of the vacant office space and the corner of the school. It was epic.
I now feel good enough to share it all with you. Merry Xmas!
Here's something I prepared earlier...
We called it the Eye of Sauron. The story is for another time.
7-11 Jerk
I went to buy what was likely my last slurpie for 2008 and the guy who served me was an idiot. They had a Taurine flavoured slurpie and it was bright and blue and delicious and now it's gone. I asked the guy who served me is the blue one coming back and he said "Yes" but he didn't actually acknowledge what I was saying. Kind of like when your parents tell you stories about their childhood that are ultimately pointless.
So I said to the guy, "You see the slurpie machine, are the blue ones coming back"
He said "Yes" again and looked at me like it was a simple truth and like I was the biggest tard in the world when in fact he was. Now that I've read this all back I look like a petty slurpie drinking monga but now I can't be bothered deleting it.
Meh.
So I said to the guy, "You see the slurpie machine, are the blue ones coming back"
He said "Yes" again and looked at me like it was a simple truth and like I was the biggest tard in the world when in fact he was. Now that I've read this all back I look like a petty slurpie drinking monga but now I can't be bothered deleting it.
Meh.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Crackheads
My earlier shoe post reminded me of my favourite rant of all time.
It's an angry, articulate, educational and moving piece by a guy named Matt. If ever I have a bad day I read it and it makes me smile.
Here it is - Hey Crackhead.
It's an angry, articulate, educational and moving piece by a guy named Matt. If ever I have a bad day I read it and it makes me smile.
Here it is - Hey Crackhead.
101
I got to 100 and I didn't celebrate. Uh-oh.
I guess it was an opportunity lost. I'll make my next milestone 500 I reckon.
Stay tuned. Till then please enjoy TidBits mailing list manners 101.
I'd quote my favourite pointer but I'm having a hard time finding anything relevant there at all.
I guess it was an opportunity lost. I'll make my next milestone 500 I reckon.
Stay tuned. Till then please enjoy TidBits mailing list manners 101.
I'd quote my favourite pointer but I'm having a hard time finding anything relevant there at all.
WWMD?
It isn't a stuttered version of the WMD acronym. It means "What would MacGyver do?"
By the looks of it, he would wear a smart brown leather jacket and stare into the mid distance while keeping his hands busy.
Is it a new section? Maybe...It depends how much more useless shit I find on the street that doesn't fall under the shoe category.
On the way to work last week I found this:
In the afternoon I walked away from work. It rained and I found this:
When I say found in both instances I use it rather loosely as I don't believe they were lost, nor do I believe that the raining and the finding of the can were linked as it wouldn't bucket down...or would it, but that's not really the point is it? The point is WWMD with a key, an elastic band and a tin drum? Probably make a sub atomic particle accelerator or perhaps just a clever place to hide your key.
By the looks of it, he would wear a smart brown leather jacket and stare into the mid distance while keeping his hands busy.
Is it a new section? Maybe...It depends how much more useless shit I find on the street that doesn't fall under the shoe category.
On the way to work last week I found this:
In the afternoon I walked away from work. It rained and I found this:
When I say found in both instances I use it rather loosely as I don't believe they were lost, nor do I believe that the raining and the finding of the can were linked as it wouldn't bucket down...or would it, but that's not really the point is it? The point is WWMD with a key, an elastic band and a tin drum? Probably make a sub atomic particle accelerator or perhaps just a clever place to hide your key.
Pie Face
Meet Pie Face.
I ate him on Friday. Make your own with BBQ, Tomato and Tartare sauce. It is as delicious as it looks.
I ate him on Friday. Make your own with BBQ, Tomato and Tartare sauce. It is as delicious as it looks.
Cross promotion!
I'm selling some Apple iPhones here.
One sold within the first 30 mins. How crazy is that?
I can do cheap for you. You must live in Australia though so if you are a foreign devil, I'm sorry but we don't deal with your kind.
One sold within the first 30 mins. How crazy is that?
I can do cheap for you. You must live in Australia though so if you are a foreign devil, I'm sorry but we don't deal with your kind.
Shoes Glorious Shoes!
I lie. They ain't glorious at all. They're just lost.
I've commented on lost shoes before over here. Well here's the latest installment.
What's with shoes and Epping Station? What's with this shoe in particular? It looks quite nice. I'd be really pissed off if I lost it. Whatever happened to no shoe left behind? I hope you're in a better place brother.
Do you know how hard it was to take this photo? It wasn't an extreme angle of difficulty, it's just that you look like a nob pointing a camera in the air in the middle of the road at a potential crack dealers shoes. Who are these crack dealers to throw their shoes on overhead lines anyways? They must have a lot of money and shoes to be able to advertise in such a fashion. Why not make a sign, take out an ad or get someone to wear a sandwich board. Think crack heads.
These aren't lost shoes but I'm hoping for their sake they get lost. This is a fashion that follows hot on the heels of thongs and socks or sandals and socks. It's the Crocs and Socks. It's this mental dude on the train who looks a little bit like Brett Whitely, a little like Martin Bryant. He looks tough and wiry though and so I had to stand behind him, pretend I was msging someone and snap away. Technology these days, oh yeah!
I've commented on lost shoes before over here. Well here's the latest installment.
What's with shoes and Epping Station? What's with this shoe in particular? It looks quite nice. I'd be really pissed off if I lost it. Whatever happened to no shoe left behind? I hope you're in a better place brother.
Do you know how hard it was to take this photo? It wasn't an extreme angle of difficulty, it's just that you look like a nob pointing a camera in the air in the middle of the road at a potential crack dealers shoes. Who are these crack dealers to throw their shoes on overhead lines anyways? They must have a lot of money and shoes to be able to advertise in such a fashion. Why not make a sign, take out an ad or get someone to wear a sandwich board. Think crack heads.
These aren't lost shoes but I'm hoping for their sake they get lost. This is a fashion that follows hot on the heels of thongs and socks or sandals and socks. It's the Crocs and Socks. It's this mental dude on the train who looks a little bit like Brett Whitely, a little like Martin Bryant. He looks tough and wiry though and so I had to stand behind him, pretend I was msging someone and snap away. Technology these days, oh yeah!
Dschinghis Khan - Hotness
Dschinghis is the German spelling for Genghis. He killed stacks of Russians and a couple of Germans too back in the 14th century. Who knows, in 600 years time perhaps a Jewish Disco band will do a mock tribute song called Adolf and it will be something that people laugh at and send each other in blog form. Those crazy Germans, am I right? Dschinghis Khan also happen to be a group that entered Eurovision 1979 with a song by the same name which can be found below. It's fantastic.
You may recognise Moskau which has appeared on my obscure German disco periphery a couple of times this lifetime. Here's the video which I'm led to believe is an internet phenomenon on their Wikipedia page.
It looks like a musical version of the power rangers except that bald dude (Steve Bender) looks very supervillian evil. He's dead. The main dancer dude Louis Potgeiter is dead too. The AIDS got him. Pity as the world needs more gaunt twirly dancers. Anyways, you may notice that they enjoy having some bloke dancing, choreagraphed group dancing and laughing heartily in their songs. I long for these more innocent times once more.
You may recognise Moskau which has appeared on my obscure German disco periphery a couple of times this lifetime. Here's the video which I'm led to believe is an internet phenomenon on their Wikipedia page.
It looks like a musical version of the power rangers except that bald dude (Steve Bender) looks very supervillian evil. He's dead. The main dancer dude Louis Potgeiter is dead too. The AIDS got him. Pity as the world needs more gaunt twirly dancers. Anyways, you may notice that they enjoy having some bloke dancing, choreagraphed group dancing and laughing heartily in their songs. I long for these more innocent times once more.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Greyhound to Vegas!
I'm going to the States next month/year both are correct. It should be pretty moist. We booked some Kings v Ducks tickets for our stay in LA upon realising we should've looked into Lakers tickets instead. Oops.
We also booked some Greyhound tickets to Vegas. The trip will take 6 hours and I'm kinda scared kinda excited. After reading the reviews of San Diego bus shelter I'm thankful we're not going there. Good bits include -
Sweet! Until then let's calm ourselves by looking at pictures of busted greyhounds
Sorry I couldn't resist doing that last one.
We also booked some Greyhound tickets to Vegas. The trip will take 6 hours and I'm kinda scared kinda excited. After reading the reviews of San Diego bus shelter I'm thankful we're not going there. Good bits include -
"The guy at the bus station counter definitely said "ass" and "crazy ho" more than once during our five minute conversation while getting our luggage tags."
"my new bus partner was some euro kid that had his shoes secured by ripped plastic shopping bags"
Sweet! Until then let's calm ourselves by looking at pictures of busted greyhounds
Sorry I couldn't resist doing that last one.
TV Dads Who Were Crap In Real Life.
Onscreen they presented the quintessential family man. Off screen was a far different matter. From smoking crack with hobo's through to dying of colon related dieseases - here's Five TV Dad's Who Were Crap In Real Life.
Reginald VelJohnson - Family Matters
He was the original black cranky fat man and he got to slap Urkel around. Cool huh? Better yet are the vicious rumours about him being gay. Uh-oh. His partner of choice? Fat black man doppelganger James Avery, the father from Fresh Prince. Just imagine having relations with a mirror image of yourself...I'd just prefer a wangle and a cup of tea thanks. Read more vitriol here on cosmodromemag.com. Hilarious what you can write on teh intrawebz.
Robert Reed - The Brady Bunch
Having an instant family and the possibility for a regimented family breeding plan wasn't enough for him. Reed was involved in constant struggles with script writers because of the motivations of characters or on their use of satire and farce. It was a TV show about 6 kids who didn't shag, what wasn't farcical about that? He was also a homo, on the sly apparently. His Wikipedia page credits him with threatening his partners after their love snuggles. So he probably said something like "Now that you've been inside me, it'll stay inside these walls or help me god I'll go all Brady on your ass" I like to think so at least. He had the HIV (pronounced "H-if" I believe) and died of Colon cancer in 1992.
Conrad Bain - Diff'rent Strokes
He's an ok dude. I checked it all out. Sure, Willis and Dana Plato struggled with crime and death respectively and Gary Coleman is still a virgin but Conrad ended up ok. So where was the duty of care? You helped these kids grow up on TV Conrad. You moulded them into a thief, a dead slut and a frigid midget, surely you should take some of the heat for that. Instead, you aged like a turtle and you have a twin who rides on your coat tails. Hollywood makes me sick.
Read more here. Someone has spent too much time compiling their own list. Lists are for losers buddy!
Earl Sneed Sinclair - Dinosaurs
Worst of the lot in my opinion. His whole family is exctinct and dead (didn't need the dead after exctinct I know, just wanted to be dramatic). The baby was onto a good thing, he is not the mama, just a crap father who failed on camera and off camera as well.
Max Wright - Alf
Alf finished in 1990 which seems to be a lifetime ago. Between now and then Max has been busy. He got a DUI in 2000 and was last seen smoking crack and engaging in gay acts with homeless men in 2005. Read more about it here. Things are looking up. He's recently gotten a gig impersonating SVU's Dann Florek at charity functions.
Reginald VelJohnson - Family Matters
He was the original black cranky fat man and he got to slap Urkel around. Cool huh? Better yet are the vicious rumours about him being gay. Uh-oh. His partner of choice? Fat black man doppelganger James Avery, the father from Fresh Prince. Just imagine having relations with a mirror image of yourself...I'd just prefer a wangle and a cup of tea thanks. Read more vitriol here on cosmodromemag.com. Hilarious what you can write on teh intrawebz.
Robert Reed - The Brady Bunch
Having an instant family and the possibility for a regimented family breeding plan wasn't enough for him. Reed was involved in constant struggles with script writers because of the motivations of characters or on their use of satire and farce. It was a TV show about 6 kids who didn't shag, what wasn't farcical about that? He was also a homo, on the sly apparently. His Wikipedia page credits him with threatening his partners after their love snuggles. So he probably said something like "Now that you've been inside me, it'll stay inside these walls or help me god I'll go all Brady on your ass" I like to think so at least. He had the HIV (pronounced "H-if" I believe) and died of Colon cancer in 1992.
Conrad Bain - Diff'rent Strokes
He's an ok dude. I checked it all out. Sure, Willis and Dana Plato struggled with crime and death respectively and Gary Coleman is still a virgin but Conrad ended up ok. So where was the duty of care? You helped these kids grow up on TV Conrad. You moulded them into a thief, a dead slut and a frigid midget, surely you should take some of the heat for that. Instead, you aged like a turtle and you have a twin who rides on your coat tails. Hollywood makes me sick.
Read more here. Someone has spent too much time compiling their own list. Lists are for losers buddy!
Earl Sneed Sinclair - Dinosaurs
Worst of the lot in my opinion. His whole family is exctinct and dead (didn't need the dead after exctinct I know, just wanted to be dramatic). The baby was onto a good thing, he is not the mama, just a crap father who failed on camera and off camera as well.
Max Wright - Alf
Alf finished in 1990 which seems to be a lifetime ago. Between now and then Max has been busy. He got a DUI in 2000 and was last seen smoking crack and engaging in gay acts with homeless men in 2005. Read more about it here. Things are looking up. He's recently gotten a gig impersonating SVU's Dann Florek at charity functions.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Paint on the sidewalk.
It happened quickly. Blue, White, Red and Yellow point formed cryptic messages along the length of Oxford St in Epping. Don't taggers have any decency?
This is the pavement before it got tagged.
The first tag is this one. I don't know what it means but if I had to guess it's a battle for gangland supremecy - TXI over A100. It could also be short for Taxi Aloo, aloo being Indian for potato. My toes are there for reference value.
EA games and Subliminal advertising. So wrong.
I think this one has to do with Gas. 75mm worth of gas which is a very precise amount. Perhaps these taggers are urban terrorists looking to infiltrate our gas mains...
I can't even read this one. Sloppy work by these vandals of the street. I don't think I'm any closer to figuring out what happened here. Are YOU?
This is the pavement before it got tagged.
The first tag is this one. I don't know what it means but if I had to guess it's a battle for gangland supremecy - TXI over A100. It could also be short for Taxi Aloo, aloo being Indian for potato. My toes are there for reference value.
EA games and Subliminal advertising. So wrong.
I think this one has to do with Gas. 75mm worth of gas which is a very precise amount. Perhaps these taggers are urban terrorists looking to infiltrate our gas mains...
I can't even read this one. Sloppy work by these vandals of the street. I don't think I'm any closer to figuring out what happened here. Are YOU?
Comedy in the Loo.
I had a paid gig on Saturday night with my Comedy Teacher, Rob. Comedy's paying off ka-ching! Along for the ride was Dave Smiedt and Tom Oakley. Anyways, the gig was for Rob's friends daughters 18th Birthday. It was quite nice as we had to wander out to Watsons Bay. Our debrief was that we had to talk to the kids on a booze bus over to Nelson Park and then perform once we got to the final destination.
The trip was decent. I taught the kids a timeless classic "Bestiality's great" which goes to the tune of Tie me Kangaroo down sport. Their favourite stanza was "Splat the twat of a cat" Fun for the family.
We got off the bus, wandered down to the beach and stood near the little pagoda thing. It was nice but, it was windy as all hell and there was stingy sand blowing everywhere. Not only was it annoying but it made the prospect of performing pretty hard because it was blowing hard. That's when Plan B took place.
This is Rob standing on "Stage" with Dave looking on. Yes, we were in a toilet.
This is all the kids packed into said toilet. It doesn't quite capture the random puddles of water on the ground but it does capture how completely crazy the prospect of trying to entertain 50 odd drunk teens was.
All in all it went well - as well as a gig in the male public toilets of Nelson Park can go. Rob MC'd and brought me on first. I went ok. I like to think I was the ice-breaker of the night, as after me Tom and Dave had a warm and receptive audience. In truth, it was a tad bit overwhelming and a couple of my lines didn't land and I could've been a bit more cofident but what can you do? I ended up ad libbing at the end and was particularly impressed with "If you guys keep on talking you'll be drawing in air that's tainted with that stale urine smell you all know is there." Dave and Tom wrapped things up and we then headed over to the Rocks. I chatted to a guy called Michael who gave me a boob by boob breakdown of the chicks in the front half of the bus. His most memorable quote was "See her, she's Sam, has a bung head but massive titties. You can't tell cos of her loose shirt. She's getting a reduction this summer." He was also born on the same day as I was, just 9 years apart...we were almost brothers, but not really.
Excellent...hmm...
The trip was decent. I taught the kids a timeless classic "Bestiality's great" which goes to the tune of Tie me Kangaroo down sport. Their favourite stanza was "Splat the twat of a cat" Fun for the family.
We got off the bus, wandered down to the beach and stood near the little pagoda thing. It was nice but, it was windy as all hell and there was stingy sand blowing everywhere. Not only was it annoying but it made the prospect of performing pretty hard because it was blowing hard. That's when Plan B took place.
This is Rob standing on "Stage" with Dave looking on. Yes, we were in a toilet.
This is all the kids packed into said toilet. It doesn't quite capture the random puddles of water on the ground but it does capture how completely crazy the prospect of trying to entertain 50 odd drunk teens was.
All in all it went well - as well as a gig in the male public toilets of Nelson Park can go. Rob MC'd and brought me on first. I went ok. I like to think I was the ice-breaker of the night, as after me Tom and Dave had a warm and receptive audience. In truth, it was a tad bit overwhelming and a couple of my lines didn't land and I could've been a bit more cofident but what can you do? I ended up ad libbing at the end and was particularly impressed with "If you guys keep on talking you'll be drawing in air that's tainted with that stale urine smell you all know is there." Dave and Tom wrapped things up and we then headed over to the Rocks. I chatted to a guy called Michael who gave me a boob by boob breakdown of the chicks in the front half of the bus. His most memorable quote was "See her, she's Sam, has a bung head but massive titties. You can't tell cos of her loose shirt. She's getting a reduction this summer." He was also born on the same day as I was, just 9 years apart...we were almost brothers, but not really.
Excellent...hmm...
Friday, December 12, 2008
Xmas Party Shenanigans
All in all the Xmas party was quite good. We ended up getting a taxi to catch a water taxi and I had a chance to take these cool shots of reflections in puddles.
After riding around on the water taxi for a bit we ended up at Ripples at Mosman.
We ate food.
And received gifts.
I got a gift card and chocolate. I was quite happy
We saw secret rooms full of singers and cleverly named bins.
We had fun. Oh yes. The rest of the gallery is here.
After riding around on the water taxi for a bit we ended up at Ripples at Mosman.
We ate food.
And received gifts.
I got a gift card and chocolate. I was quite happy
We saw secret rooms full of singers and cleverly named bins.
We had fun. Oh yes. The rest of the gallery is here.
Child Stars - Some Good Some Bad.
Great reading on why Childtars have no excuses over here @ Screen Junkies.com
My favourite is Alfalfa v Shirley Temple.
That's solid gold right there.
My favourite is Alfalfa v Shirley Temple.
"Alfalfa...got shot in the dick and died of massive internal bleeding while trying to collect on a debt at the age of 31."
That's solid gold right there.
This month, Jennifer Anniston is Omnipotent
And hot...
And after a fresh start.
It's weird how celebs appear on multiple magazines at the same time. I'm going to go back to the first photo and pretend like I can see through her hands. I have no idea what she's talking about in GQ but at least I wouldn't fear getting the pages stuck together, just a sticky cover.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
NBL Survivor
The NBL is in serious trouble.
After the offseason folding of the Kings, Bullets and Slingers, there was the near collapse of the Spirit and now, the Cairns Taipans are now in trouble. The Spirit have been bailed out but are on minimum pay which means that the ball boys who mop the court probably get more money than the actual players. The credit crunch has affected the Taipans as their major sponsor is Toyota and they're not sure they'll be able to play on Saturday.
Way to wave the flag Basketball Australia. They were always in trouble after announcing that they were rebranding next season. There was talk of just scratching the 08/09 season because of the financial strain however the loss of local talent would have crippled the league for their reinvention. Now it looks like they'll limp to the end on the back of low crowds and a couple of competitive teams. It's like a sports version of Survivor - Cairns, put out your torch and fetch your belongings the league have spoken. Spirit, you missed the last roadblock and will have a $500,000 handicap going into next season. Shane Heal to the diary room. Big Brother thinks you were a talented player back in the Atlanta Olympics but now you're overpaid and useless. To the isolation room.
It's sad. I just long for the days of Kingma...sigh...
Now there was someone who knew his limits...
After the offseason folding of the Kings, Bullets and Slingers, there was the near collapse of the Spirit and now, the Cairns Taipans are now in trouble. The Spirit have been bailed out but are on minimum pay which means that the ball boys who mop the court probably get more money than the actual players. The credit crunch has affected the Taipans as their major sponsor is Toyota and they're not sure they'll be able to play on Saturday.
Way to wave the flag Basketball Australia. They were always in trouble after announcing that they were rebranding next season. There was talk of just scratching the 08/09 season because of the financial strain however the loss of local talent would have crippled the league for their reinvention. Now it looks like they'll limp to the end on the back of low crowds and a couple of competitive teams. It's like a sports version of Survivor - Cairns, put out your torch and fetch your belongings the league have spoken. Spirit, you missed the last roadblock and will have a $500,000 handicap going into next season. Shane Heal to the diary room. Big Brother thinks you were a talented player back in the Atlanta Olympics but now you're overpaid and useless. To the isolation room.
It's sad. I just long for the days of Kingma...sigh...
Now there was someone who knew his limits...
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