shirt.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Avatar kinda ok
I saw Avatar and it was ok, it was visually amazing, but I could do endless magic eye puzzles and be visually amazed. As with everything, it was the story that let it down, it just wasn't all that interesting or new.
Example? Sure. As soon as Sully meets the chick you know he's going to bone her. You know that he's going to end up killing the bad army guy. You know he's going to ride the big angry bird thing and you know that Sigourney Weaver and every other support character will die.
Worse than the lack of story though is the technology/evolution in the movie. How does a society evolve so it can tamper with every living thing around it with its hair? The Na'vi are meant to be hard to kill but gravity and bullets seem to fuck them up just as easy as anything else and the clincher. If humans are able to "port" themselves into avatars and they have mech robots to rape the earth with, well why does Jake Sully still have a self push wheelchair? Why haven't humans got the technology to get around wheelchairs? Even if they got one of those big fuck off robots just to carry them in a massive baby sling it'd make sense. Next they'll tell us that they're using morse code to communicate between bases and they're still using twitter to socially mediate.
Example? Sure. As soon as Sully meets the chick you know he's going to bone her. You know that he's going to end up killing the bad army guy. You know he's going to ride the big angry bird thing and you know that Sigourney Weaver and every other support character will die.
Worse than the lack of story though is the technology/evolution in the movie. How does a society evolve so it can tamper with every living thing around it with its hair? The Na'vi are meant to be hard to kill but gravity and bullets seem to fuck them up just as easy as anything else and the clincher. If humans are able to "port" themselves into avatars and they have mech robots to rape the earth with, well why does Jake Sully still have a self push wheelchair? Why haven't humans got the technology to get around wheelchairs? Even if they got one of those big fuck off robots just to carry them in a massive baby sling it'd make sense. Next they'll tell us that they're using morse code to communicate between bases and they're still using twitter to socially mediate.
Inline Skates
I found this product today.
Tool-set seems a bit superfluous as in-line skaters are already tool-sets aren't they? Oh Cashman, you are so insightful.
It reminds me of a joke from the other week.
What's the hardest thing about inline skating?
Telling your parents you're a fag.
Tool-set seems a bit superfluous as in-line skaters are already tool-sets aren't they? Oh Cashman, you are so insightful.
It reminds me of a joke from the other week.
What's the hardest thing about inline skating?
Telling your parents you're a fag.
Old Wisdom
I was at Victoria Basement looking for a jug with a freezable column in it. Although I didn't find it, I did hear some Old wisdom as I passed the bottle openers.
"If you have one of these in your back pocket at all times you'll never be in trouble."
How many times have you ever needed to open up a bottle to avoid trouble or remove the foil with a little knife in order to get out of life threatening fixes? Never.
Check out the opener.
You sorta have to look into the basket itself but you get the idea. Maybe the guy was an alcoholic? His sandals in the breakground say to me that yes he is.
"If you have one of these in your back pocket at all times you'll never be in trouble."
How many times have you ever needed to open up a bottle to avoid trouble or remove the foil with a little knife in order to get out of life threatening fixes? Never.
Check out the opener.
You sorta have to look into the basket itself but you get the idea. Maybe the guy was an alcoholic? His sandals in the breakground say to me that yes he is.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Ruby Rose stops Tweeting
Ruby Rose aka White Rhianna has stopped tweeting.
She has a point. I haven't tweeted too much recently, maybe on account of my not being an old fart or anything like that.
I find it's pretty good if you're clever and have a decent community of like minded people to bounce off. Perhaps White Rhianna just isn't smart enough for twitter?
Or maybe it is actually just shit after all..
She has a point. I haven't tweeted too much recently, maybe on account of my not being an old fart or anything like that.
I find it's pretty good if you're clever and have a decent community of like minded people to bounce off. Perhaps White Rhianna just isn't smart enough for twitter?
Or maybe it is actually just shit after all..
World for all People - The Video
A couple of months ago you may remember Jamie and I posed for some photos with fluro men.
Well, I'm only 2 months late but World for all People is up and on Youtube! Hooray! Here's the video.
It's pretty ace to see our mugs at the 3 min mark. If you wanna read more about it here's Rick the Canadians website.
(Thanks Jamie)
Well, I'm only 2 months late but World for all People is up and on Youtube! Hooray! Here's the video.
It's pretty ace to see our mugs at the 3 min mark. If you wanna read more about it here's Rick the Canadians website.
(Thanks Jamie)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Work Toilet is a Ghetto
How am I meant to shit in a place like this. Look at this place.
It looks a bit like the chick from the ring is going to come out and trap my anus down a well if I turn my back on it for a second. Seriously, what happened in there. Definately not bowel movements that's for sure.
It looks a bit like the chick from the ring is going to come out and trap my anus down a well if I turn my back on it for a second. Seriously, what happened in there. Definately not bowel movements that's for sure.
A little birdy told me
It was one sleep to xmas. The bird was wrong and not very festive at the end of the day.
Haiku Wins
I entered a Sunday Magazine competition a couple of weeks ago. It asked the entrants to reply in 25 words or less why food kicks ass. I answered in a Haiku.
Ingredients meld,
The Kitchen Buzzes; Sounds, Smells!
Yum! And taste of course.
That effort was good enough to win a signed Luke Mangan cookbook. Do I know who Luke Mangan is? Not really. I think I've seen him on Masterchef. Anyways, I was pretty stoked, probably cos I love winning stuff. Go me!
Ingredients meld,
The Kitchen Buzzes; Sounds, Smells!
Yum! And taste of course.
That effort was good enough to win a signed Luke Mangan cookbook. Do I know who Luke Mangan is? Not really. I think I've seen him on Masterchef. Anyways, I was pretty stoked, probably cos I love winning stuff. Go me!
New Words
I've been stacks busy making up words cos I'm a wordsmith. The last one I did was awesome!
Here's Mannequin:
When a man stretches his scrotum up over his penis and entirely covers it so his genital region resembles a flat skin-coloured patch, similar to a store mannequin.
Here it is on Urban Dictionary. Awesome!
Here's Mannequin:
When a man stretches his scrotum up over his penis and entirely covers it so his genital region resembles a flat skin-coloured patch, similar to a store mannequin.
After shaving my sack I can do such a good mannequin, Target wants to hire me to do in store promotions.
Here it is on Urban Dictionary. Awesome!
Sad Tree 3
You may remember the original sad trees of Epping. Well there's a new challenger and I think it's the saddest yet.
I like to think that the tree can Sophie Delezio it's way out of trouble but I don't think it's strong enough to survive. Prove me wrong sad tree, prove me wrong!
I like to think that the tree can Sophie Delezio it's way out of trouble but I don't think it's strong enough to survive. Prove me wrong sad tree, prove me wrong!
North Sydney Boys High fail.
When I was doing my HSC in 1998 we were told we were the worst year to go through NSBHS. They may have had a point as we destroyed our common room and when we weren't destroying it we were covering it in porn. We ended up doing ok and I think as a school we finished in the top 6 schools in the state or there abouts. This years year 12 finished 14th and got knocked out of the the top 10 by some private schools. Who's the worst year now? Who has enough pride in their high school to care?
Go to bed you underachieving retard.
Go to bed you underachieving retard.
Phone books of Epping.
Totally irrelevant. I have the internet. Do you have porn in you yellow pages? No. Can you entertain me with games? No. Am I able to network socially with you? Probably but it's hard work I'd imagine. Can you stop the tell tale signs of domestic abuse. Yes if applied to the ribs so as to disperse the force of blunt trauma. Internet 3 Phone book 1.
Here's a phone book I found earlier.
Piece of shit.
Yes those are my shoes.
Here's a phone book I found earlier.
Piece of shit.
Yes those are my shoes.
Flight Jokes
I wrote my first flight based joke the other day. Here it goes:
What happened to the Magician who disappeared at Helsinki Airport?
*He vanished into Finnair.
High-larious!
*To fully appreciate it you must know that Helsinki is the hub city for Finnair
What happened to the Magician who disappeared at Helsinki Airport?
*He vanished into Finnair.
High-larious!
*To fully appreciate it you must know that Helsinki is the hub city for Finnair
A lot has been said
About Tiger Woods. I will say this though, the American public must be pissed they elected him president.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Drugs Campaign media Scripts
Are you looking for a xmas play for your family group or an audition piece for your next acting gig?
Well look no further the NSW Drugs Campaign media scripts.
How about you practice the part of the 15 year old girl and I'll be the mother. It'll be so much fun.
I think these scripts are really quite excessive though. Ice doesn't always destroy lives, it helps cool your drinks and when applied upon injuries it avoids swelling.
Well look no further the NSW Drugs Campaign media scripts.
How about you practice the part of the 15 year old girl and I'll be the mother. It'll be so much fun.
I think these scripts are really quite excessive though. Ice doesn't always destroy lives, it helps cool your drinks and when applied upon injuries it avoids swelling.
East 17 and the Jacket Potato
This isn't recent but it's pretty fantastic.
Brian Harvey from East 17 fame ran over himself and broker his pelvis in 7 places. Funny, I know. Funnier still is how he did it.
Harvey blames potatoes for bizarre car accident
If he was on Atkins he wouldn't have run over himself, however if he were a rugby player he would've run over his daughter. It's been ruled out as another suicide attempt which makes sense. Jacket potatoes, vomit and a car seem a bit too elaborate for a suicide attempt unless you were the McGyver of suicide.
Brian Harvey from East 17 fame ran over himself and broker his pelvis in 7 places. Funny, I know. Funnier still is how he did it.
Harvey blames potatoes for bizarre car accident
Troubled reality TV star Brian Harvey has provided an astonishing explanation for the bizarre and terrifying accident in which he was run over by his own Mercedes... claiming it was caused by a meal of three giant baked potatoes smothered in tuna mayonnaise and cheese.
If he was on Atkins he wouldn't have run over himself, however if he were a rugby player he would've run over his daughter. It's been ruled out as another suicide attempt which makes sense. Jacket potatoes, vomit and a car seem a bit too elaborate for a suicide attempt unless you were the McGyver of suicide.
Pineapple Donuts
They don't really looks as good as normal donuts do they? They are kind of the lonely leper of the baked/fried dough family.
Monday, December 7, 2009
It's the equivalent of...
My mate and his girlfriend went to Sexpo when it was in Sydney. They got some photos with one of the female pornstars who had her top off. As they were posing she turned to my mates girlfriend and said "You're a girl, you can touch" and so she cupped the pornstar.
My first reaction was, that's ace! Upon second thought though it wasn't as cool. It would be the equivalent of a bloke meeting Ron Jeremy, getting ready to pose in the photo with him and then Ron says "Seeing you're a guy, you can hold my wang"
I totally would hold it if I had the chance.
My first reaction was, that's ace! Upon second thought though it wasn't as cool. It would be the equivalent of a bloke meeting Ron Jeremy, getting ready to pose in the photo with him and then Ron says "Seeing you're a guy, you can hold my wang"
I totally would hold it if I had the chance.
Lamebook
Lamebook.com is pretty self explanatory. It's facebook gone lame. Full of totally hot messes and their status updates. Almost as great as the actual posts themselves are the comments.
Here's one correcting a haiku writer and showing the correct format.
@Mr Haihu
The second line of post 31
“of Barnaby Joyce and Pauline”
contains eight sylables
should be seven
example
AIDS infected whore —5
Spread your legs, angel of death —7
You’re doing God’s work —5
Than there's the posts themselves.
Gold.
Here's one correcting a haiku writer and showing the correct format.
@Mr Haihu
The second line of post 31
“of Barnaby Joyce and Pauline”
contains eight sylables
should be seven
example
AIDS infected whore —5
Spread your legs, angel of death —7
You’re doing God’s work —5
Than there's the posts themselves.
Gold.
Conversations with strangers
When do conversations with strangers end? I was in a lift and this old punk, (he wasn't really a punk he was just an old homeless looking guy) got into the lift. He was wearing crazy earphones and a xmas carol was playing really loudly. I looked at another bloke and we raised eyebrows and I said "That's a bit excessive" and he laughed. Then he said something not that clever so I pretended to laugh and then the doors opened.
The conversation had ended but we ended up walking the same direction and roughly the same pace. We looked at each other once or twice and then I slowed down heaps so he could walk ahead of me.
The thing was we ran into each other later at Woolworths in the nut aisle. We looked at each other and he kinda said with his eyes he knew I had slowed down out there but I wasn't sure if he was happy about it. I turned around and did not buy nuts that day.
What should i have done? I don't think I could've talked to him again but should I have walked away? Who knows? Who cares anymore...
The conversation had ended but we ended up walking the same direction and roughly the same pace. We looked at each other once or twice and then I slowed down heaps so he could walk ahead of me.
The thing was we ran into each other later at Woolworths in the nut aisle. We looked at each other and he kinda said with his eyes he knew I had slowed down out there but I wasn't sure if he was happy about it. I turned around and did not buy nuts that day.
What should i have done? I don't think I could've talked to him again but should I have walked away? Who knows? Who cares anymore...
DJ Hero
I'm pretty excited about it even though it's been out for a little bit. I asked about the game when I was at EB and the guy was offended. He was all like "I'm not touching that piece of shit" I asked why and he said he was a DJ.
Oh, right. Here I was thinking you worked at EB. I don't think I've heard any of his mixes and the GFC must've hit the DJ world hard for him to have to be working at EB full time. Maybe when the Ministry of Sound Summer Annual comes out maybe I'll hear some of Dave from EB North Sydney's work.
Oh, right. Here I was thinking you worked at EB. I don't think I've heard any of his mixes and the GFC must've hit the DJ world hard for him to have to be working at EB full time. Maybe when the Ministry of Sound Summer Annual comes out maybe I'll hear some of Dave from EB North Sydney's work.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Fastfood workers often incompetent
I eat fast food and I get cranky at how incompetent their workers are. Is it because of my hunger overruling my compassionate side? No, it's because the dregs of the world and the very pimply work there. Macca's George street seems to be a haven for retards. It's a case of them having to fill a normal needs quota as the rest of their staff seem completely incompetent at life.
Today we wandered past the new KFC at China Town and had to wait 10 mins to not get served. We decided we didn't need popcorn chicken enough to wait any longer. The only good thing about our visit was that they have perhaps the longest wheel chair escalator in the world. I kinda wanted to get in it and go for gold but I was too angry.
I hate people so much. At least this shirt agrees with me...
Today we wandered past the new KFC at China Town and had to wait 10 mins to not get served. We decided we didn't need popcorn chicken enough to wait any longer. The only good thing about our visit was that they have perhaps the longest wheel chair escalator in the world. I kinda wanted to get in it and go for gold but I was too angry.
I hate people so much. At least this shirt agrees with me...
Paddy's Veg
We bought a buttload of fruit and veg today from Paddy's markets for under $10.
We got 2 mangoes, 2 nashi pears, a bunch of inoki mushrooms, a red capsicum, a bunch of gai lan, half a cabbage, a kg of sweet potato and 750gm of tomatoes. It's high fibre time in the Cashman household this week.
The thing is why didn't anyone tell me about this hot veg stock earlier? I have been living like a chump.
We got 2 mangoes, 2 nashi pears, a bunch of inoki mushrooms, a red capsicum, a bunch of gai lan, half a cabbage, a kg of sweet potato and 750gm of tomatoes. It's high fibre time in the Cashman household this week.
The thing is why didn't anyone tell me about this hot veg stock earlier? I have been living like a chump.
Rosemary
Heard this on V. It's by the Snowdroppers and I liked it.
I like it a lot although the chick at 1:20 looks like a dude. I actually commented on it at the time but they removed it as spam. What a kick in the cock.
Oh and a snowdropper is someone who whacks off into sheets which hang on washing lines. So hot right now.
I like it a lot although the chick at 1:20 looks like a dude. I actually commented on it at the time but they removed it as spam. What a kick in the cock.
Oh and a snowdropper is someone who whacks off into sheets which hang on washing lines. So hot right now.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
MC 3
I had to MC a gig to three people last week. I opened with "Thanks for coming guys but I've had bigger audiences in taxis"
It didn't get any better than that.
It didn't get any better than that.
Doesn't he look like...
Doesn't Bernard Fanning
Look a little bit like Gladiator and Face/Off's Tommy Flanagan?
Totally. Great way to observe stuff Ray. You're my hero. Go do something productive you fukn idiot.
Look a little bit like Gladiator and Face/Off's Tommy Flanagan?
Totally. Great way to observe stuff Ray. You're my hero. Go do something productive you fukn idiot.
Twilight New Moon = Bad Choices
What sort of example is it setting for our kids? It's kinda saying you can root a vampire or a werewolf, we wont mind.
If you break it down another level it's kinda condoning necrophilia and beastiality and neither is a healthy option unless you enjoy cockrot or scratched genitals.
NB. I have not yet seen the movie or read the books. I saw a guy reading the first book on the train so I walked up to him and I said, I did, I said "Hey, what sort of guy is reads Twilight? Hand in your penis to the man club before your cock retracts and turns into a massive clitoris and your scrotum caves in and becomes a vagina" Then I spat on him and slammed him in the throat with my elbow.
None of that happened at all. I am so lonely.
If you break it down another level it's kinda condoning necrophilia and beastiality and neither is a healthy option unless you enjoy cockrot or scratched genitals.
NB. I have not yet seen the movie or read the books. I saw a guy reading the first book on the train so I walked up to him and I said, I did, I said "Hey, what sort of guy is reads Twilight? Hand in your penis to the man club before your cock retracts and turns into a massive clitoris and your scrotum caves in and becomes a vagina" Then I spat on him and slammed him in the throat with my elbow.
None of that happened at all. I am so lonely.
Died what it loved doing
A pretty sad story from the skies over here.
It pretty much says it all here.
A breast-feeding mother accidentally smothered her four-week old child aboard a United Airlines flight from Washington, DC, to Kuwait, a British tabloid reported.
A British Tabloid eh? Apparently a photo of the killer tits were on page 3. The baby joined the ranks of Sonny Bono, Peter Brock and Steve irwin as they all died doing what they loved. In the babies case it was sucking down some titty liquid.
My question is this: Obviously the mother bought a ticket for herself and her baby. Does she now get her baby ticket refunded now the kid is dead?
It pretty much says it all here.
A breast-feeding mother accidentally smothered her four-week old child aboard a United Airlines flight from Washington, DC, to Kuwait, a British tabloid reported.
A British Tabloid eh? Apparently a photo of the killer tits were on page 3. The baby joined the ranks of Sonny Bono, Peter Brock and Steve irwin as they all died doing what they loved. In the babies case it was sucking down some titty liquid.
My question is this: Obviously the mother bought a ticket for herself and her baby. Does she now get her baby ticket refunded now the kid is dead?
November is gone
November sure was quiet. It's cos I was cultivating this awesome mo.
I wasn't really. It reminds me of a joke my mate once told me which went like this.
"Asians aren't that hairy so they don't do Movember. Instead, the do Molevember. It's where elderly asian men will cultivate the hair from their moles into a long strand and sit outside food courts and spit while they play the mandolin."
That's what it reminds me of.
I wasn't really. It reminds me of a joke my mate once told me which went like this.
"Asians aren't that hairy so they don't do Movember. Instead, the do Molevember. It's where elderly asian men will cultivate the hair from their moles into a long strand and sit outside food courts and spit while they play the mandolin."
That's what it reminds me of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
