XBox Obituary

At 8:35pm last night Ray’s Xbox was pronounced dead. Raybox as he was known to friends and family was an enthusiastic and loving three year old who spent most of his time in the guest room. The suddenness of his death has hit hard as there was none of the symptomatic “red ring of death” syndrome prevalent in other Xbox deaths. The only notice served was a slight discolouration in graphics. Raybox’s condition deteriorated rapidly after the discolouration with a laboured start up, loud fanning and eventually loss of vision. Assuming it was the component cable Ray attempted to revive Raybox by sourcing outside parts. In an operation which is said to be as technical as open heart surgery, the new component cable was rushed in and fitted at 8:30pm but it was too little too late, Raybox expired 5 minutes later.

Electronics Boutique has been contacted in regards to disposal of the body, however they will treat Raybox as faulty goods and are only willing to pay $15 for it because of it's age. Upon separation of the parts the Hard drive will fetch $55 and the controllers about half that, however the dismembering of the body is something that Raybox’s family hope to do without as he won’t make it into the Console After life if he’s in a million little pieces.

Ray is considering mounting Raybox on the mantle as a reminder of the good times they shared, like online Madden 2008 matches and the completion of Saints Row 2 through to the viewing of downloadable content like Robbie Williams’ back catalogue and Tenancious D’s Pick Of Destiny filmclip. Mourners are asked not to send flowers but contribute direct to Ray’s paypal account for an adequate replacement.

The ceremony will take place this Sunday, however it will just be family and close acquaintances. The family has asked for the public’s respect in the mourning process.

Raybox – April 2006 – April 2009

Beloved Console and multimedia solution. You inspired consoles around you like Slim (PS2) and Peebody (Wii)
You weren’t just a console, you were a friend and companion. You truly put the Soul into Console.
Raybox - May you continue with unlimited lives