Monday, March 9, 2009

It’s hard to get off at St Leonards Station.

If I catch a train I like to get off without explaining myself. I shouldn’t have to explain myself especially if I have a valid ticket. This is no longer the case at St Leonards station because of charity collectors. I avoid eye contact and try to get through but they always see me, probably because I’m not a ninja. They’ll say hi and because I’m a smiley guy I’ll smile back. They then make you feel bad about smiling at them when in fact I’m making their crappy jobs better by presenting them with some human kindness.

I had to go to Chatswood today which meant I had to go back to St Leonards and run the charity gauntlet. The one today said that she always sees me (lies) and that I’m always in a hurry (lies again) and that I should stay and talk (unlikely). These interactions are always so awkward and I find myself justifying myself just to walk away from them “Oh sorry that I left the station and walked through the section where you’re mindlessly cluttering up the walkway and stopping me from getting back to work” I shouldn’t need to say that at all I should just yell “Leave me the fuck alone backpacker”

They also promote the spread of germs with all their hand shaking. It’s all about personal contact because when you’ve touched well then you’ve forged a bond of sorts. I don’t want your germs charity collector. I’d much prefer it if you got your chestal’s out to touch but I doubt that will happen with consideration to decency and all that.

Anyways, I think they’re rather futile. Don’t they know that people hate people these days? I’d much prefer to take care of number one than pay for some malnourished midget with one lung and scabies to learn how to swim or whatever they’re collecting for. I find myself making up elaborate lies to fob them off these days. I’ll say stuff like “I rotate my charities on a 12 month basis and I donated to insert charity 3 years ago so if you’re back here in 2018 I’ll be sure to sign up then” That usually does the trick.

Try it yourself and let me know how it went.
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Week 18 - Almost as Informative as a Sign in the Foyer.
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