Church Rips Off Non-Parishoner

On Sunday morning one of the three local churches had a frangipani plant sale. The church was the more catholic of the three. Marissa likes frangipani’s and I would’ve bought one for her but I was on my way into the city and if I’d stopped, bought one and then taken it home I would’ve missed my train. Instead I called her and told her about the sales and how much they were. She said she’d wander up shortly.

The following are events as they happened to Marissa. If it is boring, blame her and not me. I will adopt her character for the rest of the story.

"I wandered up at about 9:50am and there were only 3 plants left, two $20 ones and a $10 one. I told the lady I wanted the $10 plant as it had a couple of blossoms on it. The lady said that she’d hold it for me until after the 10am service. I told her that she need not bother as I was going to the 6pm service as I had errands to run this morning. This was a lie. She looked at me strangely but sold me the plant. I walked home with Fran – the plant – and brushed against a low hanging branch. Suddenly a blossom fell off. I was freaking out thinking I’ve already stuffed the plant up, then I looked closer and noticed it was a clipping. The dodgy church bitch had sold me a plant which was not flowering, she’d just wedged a clipping in there. Unable to take it back I put it on a stool outside and watered it."

And there you have it. The moral of the story is don’t trust the church, they’ll stick a branch in your pot and deceive you. Below is a frangipani which is not Fran. I think its name is Phillip.