Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bottle Pop - Retarded Pop Lexicon

Don't you hate it when a pop group tried to make something rather plain into something dirtier? Kellis ruined Milkshakes, Hanson ruined Xmas and now PCD have ruined Bottles. I don't even know where a bottle pop would be located on a female. Last time I checked they're rather phallic in shape so maybe they're trying to tell us something. But seriously, where does it end? Why not make a song called Ironing Board? Here's my 30 second effort.

My bitches are like shirts,
Taking off their skirts,
They come in with a crease and I smooth it out with ease
On my ironing board

Chorus

Iron board, Iron board
It's like a sword
Iron board, Iron board
I spray them with my steam
Iron board iron board
Like a burns victim they scream
Iron board Iron board.

Put some robot voices and that Robert Palmer metal noise in there and you're done. Top 40 song. Jerks.

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Ray's Weekly List of Headers

Week 18 - Almost as Informative as a Sign in the Foyer.
Week 17 - Almost as arousing as Inochi.
Week 16 - Almost as questionable as Thorpie's sexual preference.
Week 15 - Almost as diverse as Austalia Day and Chinese New Year on the same day.
Week 14 - Almost as New as 2009.
Week 13 - Almost as Mysterious as a City of Gold.
Week 12 - Almost as appetising as Pie Face.
Week 11 - Almost as crap as a TV Dad.
Week 10 - Almost as sterile as a testing booth.
Week 9 - Almost as tasteful as a Portuguese egg tart.
Week 8 - Almost as underused as Abominable.
Week 7 - Almost as devious as a social miscreant.
Week 6 - Almost as presumptuous a lonely old man in a pub.
Week 5 - Almost as much fun as growing your toenails into talons.
Week 4 - Almost as fun as playing dress ups with your best mate.
Week 3 - Almost as fun as burning an issue of TV Week
Week 2 - Almost as fun as those episodes of the Simpsons where Marge sings
Week 1 - Blogging about nothing in Particular