Coping with Loss

The Forum 7's season continues and we just finished another game. This round we were up against the St Mary's Cougars and we won quite convincingly. I won Player of the Match for my effort entitled "Coping with Loss." Here it is below:

Coping with Loss.

The Warriors are underperforming this season and it’s hurting me. It was expected that the Warriors would build on their 2008 campaign and pose a genuine threat; instead the only thing they’ve threatened is my lust for life. Instead of expectantly awaiting finals football, most Warriors fans are merely waiting for the season to end. Some fans have even compared the current campaign to 2004 which, arguably was the worst season in Warriors history. To put that season into perspective, it’s almost as bad as watching the Kiwi’s win the World Cup if you are a Kangaroos fan, or watching Queensland win their fourth Origin Series in a row if you are a Blues fan, or if you’re a Queenslander at any point in history.

For most Warriors fans, myself included, the season died at 7pm Saturday June 27, 2009, or full time against the Gold Coast Titans. It’s now common to read about thoughts of next season which is terribly sad. Warriors fans now find themselves in that purgatory where they’ve spent 6 months waiting for the season to start, only to spend the next 6 months wishing the season would end.

It’s Round 16 and I’ve resigned myself to another season gone. As I watched the game draw to a close on Saturday night I felt the last spark of hope flicker and die within me. To be honest, I felt that spark dim a little when the Warriors chose to take the shot at goal instead of the tap in the 15th minute but, I still had hope and 65 mins on my side. I should’ve known better. As such, everything since that moment has been grey and flavourless, a bit like the gruel served up in Oliver, however only Titans fans, the League impoverished, or the sado-masochistic would ask for more. After that loss, I felt an emptiness which would ensure the long listless hours of Saturday night would blend into the wistful emptiness of a numb Sunday morning. Faced with such a stark reality and with no better options, I climbed into bed at 7:15pm and wept myself to sleep.

Sunday was pure misery. I decided to go to the shopping centre and brood for a bit. My fiancé asked what I was doing and I replied in a mono-sybyllic grunt. Out I stepped with my black hoodie, black jeans, and black shoes. I combed my hair forwards so it would block out the sun and I moped around with my hands in my pockets, ignoring every happy person I could. After wandering around I saw a water feature and a bunch of similarly tortured souls leaning against it so I stood nearby and allowed the silence and brooding to bond us. Eventually one of them spoke up:

“Tigers suck man”

It was a balding man in his late 30’s with a slight paunch and a look of defeat on his face. His comments were a self reflection and statement of fact. He spoke again.

“We haven’t done anything since 2005. We suck”

The other forlorn figures nodded with their own thoughts and burdens. Through a series of grunts and one word answers I found out that they were from Bondi, the Shire, and Balmain. The guy from Bondi showed us a couple of photo’s on his phone.

“That's me in 2001-2005. See how happy I was? Then 2006/07 happened and I started listening to 30 Seconds to Mars and Linkin Park CD’s.”

I looked at his well chewed fingernails as he pressed the “next” button. They were painted black. I felt his gaze on me and looked up. Surrounding the wells of self-pity that doubled as his eyes, was a faint black smudge. He was an emo! I backed away as he wiped his drooping black fringe from his eyes and in that moment I realised that if I kept up my self pitying behaviour I too would turn emo.

With that glimpse at my future I raced home. I crammed my “Mighty Warriors” DVD into the DVD player and watched seasons 2002/03 and felt some of the colour come back into my life. My answer now is to live in the past instead of the present. I’ve already arranged my next viewing of that DVD. It’ll be 7:30pm, this Friday night when the Broncos play a team that I still love, just not this season.

Yeah, I rock.