Red Card Comedy

I haven't updated any of my gigs lately and I really should have but I've been lazy. My gig before last I was heckled off stage in a show called Red Card comedy. I only had about 30 seconds and the crowd lost the plot and got rid of me. A tad undeserved? I tend to think so but dem's da breaks.

Here's a gig review from Gagging for It - Review

Please note the 4th paragraph, I think they're talking about me...

"By the time a few comics had fallen to the gong, the crowd well and truly had the idea, and their dander was up. The urge to gong seemed to come in waves. It took quite a lot for a comic to be allowed to complete 5 minutes, and if the last one up had done so then it was nearly guaranteed that the crowd would want the next one gonged no matter what, thus ensuring that some of Sydney’s funniest rising comics had barely a chance to deliver their first punchline before the punters were yelling to get them off the stage."

Would I do another gong show? Yeah probably. Would I change my material? Probably not.

Flickr Fan - Update

I think I've lost Diamondjoe.

I haven't heard anything from him since my passive aggressive post commentary from last month. I should've been a man instead of an e-bully and I apologise. If you do read this Diamondjoe, please know that I was confused by your attention and didn't know how to react. I've matured in the past month and I hope you can continue commenting on my horrible photos and sending me windows into your life.

That and I haven't actually updated FlickR for the past month...

I am a Hobo.

But not the littlest Hobo. He's a dog.

My colleague commented that my desk is covered in rubbish. As opposed to showing the whole desk, I've snapped just a sample portion which is where my CPU is.



As you can see, I've drawn a face on an airbag and kept that, I have numerous tazos and the bottom of a can of V. I think hobo is a bit harsh. At worst, I'm a horder. Anyways, none of these are very explainable nor cool, however, I find that the can bottom is closest to cool.

A closer look perhaps?



When you get past the Best Before stuff you'll see it's stamped with CHSEXZAP. I don't know about you but that is perhaps the single coolest can code I've ever seen. Next time I start a game of Pokemon or some other nerdy game where I need to input a character name, I'm calling my character Sexzap. Hopefully he'll be able to fire bolts of sexual lightening from his groin rendering him irresistable to old ladies. Hopefully.

Yesterday's Mentalist.

I got on the train yesterday afternoon and this bloke was standing in the corner. We get to Waverton and he loses his shit. Perhaps the lovely ocean view and the impending impact of development on the leafy foreshore set him off but I think he was truly a mentalist. Not the Simon Denny Baker kind but the kind that shouts at clouds and punches buses.

I really wish I could've taken a photo of him, instead I took a photo of his feet which I think sums it all up.



For the less observant of you his feet are in the top centre. If you needed that hint you were probably the kind of kid that sucked at Where's Wally.

Anyways, my first thought was WTF? After the mouth vommitting and shock I then thought what point did this guy just stop caring about his toenails and say "You know what, I'm just going to let these babies grow"

And that kids is why he's yesterdays mentalist.

Kid thinks he looks like someone else...

The kid on the right reckons he looks like Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords as found on their fan page on facebook. His mate thinks he looks like Brett. Nice try guys.

Let's look at the real Bret and Jermaine



Wow you got the shirts right, nice try once again. You know, the kid on the right looks a lot more like this guy...



Yes it's Paul Pfeifer from the Wonder Years. Poindexter.

First Post for October

I know. It's only 14 days late. I've been slack really but I'll be better. I feel this is like when you 10 and you didn't write in your diary for a long time. I'd write something kinda like this

"Dear Diary,

I'm sorry I neglected you. I've been busy. Today I had Ice blocks and made lego models. It was good.

Love Ray"

Kinda gay I know. I found something today that would have made my good times as expressed above gooderer.

It's the Lego Ice Cube Tray!



I guess it says and shows it all really. Your lego models would be the coolest on the block for sure. Oh! Punintended!

Mr Eivers

Subtle, originally uploaded by Raypower.

Some old fart on the train sat in front of me this morning. I was conetmplating ripping the shirt off his back as well but only stopped when I saw he'd claimed ownership of it.

Don't go stealing his shirt or you too will become an Eivers.

What a clown.

FlickR Fan

I think I have a FlickR fan.



It started with this photo about 3 weeks ago. Despite appearances, the guy is not manually stimulating this crocodile's genitals, he's lifting it up to show off the white underbelly. Kinda obvious. That's what I thought too until I got this...

"thats pretty cool you raised him from a little one? I personaly love reptiels. have a ball python and 3 turtles , colo photo dude."

It's from an American dude called diamondjoe. Despite the obvious grammatical errors it's a bit weird. I can almost understand that someone looking at my photo's might think it's me standing in a crocodile enclosure holding up a crocodile but still weird.

Weirder still was a friend request

"diamondjoe would like to be your friend"

Ok, I can dig that too. What harm could come of it?

The next day I got this photo.



It's a scratchy photo of Joe's wife Diane. Not sure why he sent it but he felt that I needed to see it. Since then Joe has continued to comment on my photos. Like this one

"Must be you your wife and friends nice photo friend as they say Down Under G-Day Mate."

Apart from being presumptuous this also means that diamondjoe doesn't think I could pull single chicks and that I must be married. I'm a bit sad to discover this.

The latest one is this

"hey friend I have been busy for awile anyways nice photo, looks some people having a great time,good-day mate."

You were gone? I didn't notice. On top of proving he has the local lingo down pat Joe is also extremely observant.

Now it brings me to this quandary. Do I continue complaining about this in a passive aggressive manner via a blog or do I email him and say wtf is going on here? I find that the comments part of FlickR isn't too conducive to a conversation.

Why am I even asking, I know I'll continue blogging about it...

Comedy Gig @ Roxbury - Review

Last night was decent. It was kinda weird. I had 2 comics say, oh you’re Ray Cashman, I’ve heard about you, looking forward to seeing your stuff. I don't know if it was a wind up or not. It’s funny hearing that because despite my obvious ego drive, it’s very humbling and initially I want to deflect it the hell away from me but then I’m like, hey a compliment’s a compliment so I should take it on board...meh...too much thought.

Gary Eck headlined and was very interactive. David Bloustein was MC. I've gigged with him a couple of times before. When I say that I use the term loosely as an open mic gig doesn't really count, does it? I don't know why but I always thought he was a bit too cool for school. Last night, he was friendly, affable and encouraging which is all you could ask for I guess...

All in all my set was pretty well received. I muffed the wording of my testosterone joke but I trialed a joke about hands in crowds which I'll retain for my next gig. That means it's time for Pinnacles and Nadirs

Pinnacle: Public Transport section is very tight. The hand joke worked and the extended chick intro was good
Nadir: Bucket fanny she's not so good. Perhaps the audience doesn't like poetry, or my poetry at least
Points of note: Carry successful jokes into the next gig which is a 10 min spot.

Out of the other comedians, Dain, James and Ben were my favourites. Ben had some crazy thoughts on group sex which I'll save for another day if anything just to maintain my PG rating.

TV Week - As worthwhile as a handful of Diarrhoea

As you could guess I hate it. What's the point? It's the appendix of weekly magazines.

Our receptionist at work buys TV Week religously every...week. I don't understand why. I asked does she buy the Sunday paper and she replied yes. That means that she'd have the TV guide as it comes with the Sunday paper making the purchase of TV Week redundant, wouldn't it?

Not so accoriding to our receptionist. Apparently TV week tells her what happens in Home and Away before she watches it. This apparently makes watching Home and Away more fun. I'm yet to figure out the logic behind this.

It brings me to this point though. TV Week should have gone out of publication years ago. The only thing it's handy for is voting on the Logies which is completely worthless. Anything that can reward Kate Ritchie for the mere act of being on TV for 20 years is complete rubbish. The fact that we have TV guides makes selling TV Week about as worthwhile as trying to sell bottled water to people with cold water taps. Oh that happens...

Anyway, to end here's a handful of dirt cos I couldn't find an image of a handful of Diarrhoea