Sneezes

I was watching Kendra Wilkinson's new show about being an independent trashbag and I started sneezing violently.

Maybe I'm allergic to bimbo's, maybe not. Anyways, after I stopped there was this weird, organic sweet smell for about 2 seconds and then it disappeared. It was a bit crazy. Upon going to teh Google, I found out it could be sinusitis.

Maybe I should just see a doctor...

So...

There's a lot of catching up to do. How do I knoe there's a lot of catching up to do?

Jamie over at alphabet soup vomit who values quality over quantity has updated 4 times since my last update. Better get cracking.

This will be large.

Emo Midget

In a night of TV watching and green chicken curry we also watched Celebrity Apprentice. They had to make some viral ad for some shitty detergent. Melissa Rivers who looks like Steven Tyler crossed with the lead singer of the Gorillaz (not Damon Albarn) was project manager for her teams clip and they got in an emo midget. It was ace! I couldn't actually find any photo's of him so I found one of those fake motivational posters instead.



Upon reading a little more about it, there's a LPA or Litttle People of America association. How cute! They started their own little league!

Read more here I guess.

As for Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers wins. Hooray.

Naked and Funny

It's on now and it's a great excuse to get hot Eastern bloc women and in wacky situations. The current skit has a white goods sales man selling fridges to unsuspecting peasants with mono brows. When they open up the fridge there's a naked chick inside.

Hilarious!

There's three types of people who appear on this show, there's the younger guy with a mono brow, bad teeth and goofy smile who clutches his head when he sees boobies, there's the larger slower guy who stops and takes a second look, then grins a bit cos he's cracked a fat and then there's the local sea hag who slaps everyone with her hand bag and gets in a fuss.

I'd love for some of this action to go down in the Ping. I'd be the larger slower guy I reckon.

Sex and the City

I've been watching the odd episode recently. The old slutty one Samantha has a booby lump which is cancer. Big is in the series every now and again. I would have to pay attention to what's happening to comment on Carrie and Big's interactions but he really seems to be a bit of a cunt doesn't he?

What else happens?

Cold

It's so cold I went searching for a jumper and found my old school jersey. It still fits but I think it made my eyes itchy. It's warm but a lot scratchier than I remember it.

I'm also wearing some track pants. They're black and warm as well. The main point is that I'm not cold anymore.

Total Eclipse - Literal Version

One of the funniest things ever. Just watch it.

When you're done with that watch Take On Me - literal version.

Lola gets nudified

In great news for ANTM followers, Lola Van Vorst apparently nuded up last year. Read more here.

She has an angular face which some would call strong, but she's one of the more feminine body shape-looking models on the show so bring on the titty shots I say.

She actually reminds me a bit of Penny from SYTYCD who also had an angular face and also got her gear off but this was for an actual lads mag. Let's compare.



Penny



Lola

Yeah, I think it's a good call.

In other interesting news, the shots were taken by an ex-boyfriend. She's now a lesbian. That means that he turned her. I imagine him to be some sort of lame superhero called Lesbo Man. He runs around yelling "I have the power to turn attractive women into lesbians with just one touch from my groin"

Anyways, the Lol photo's are going to be in Famous next week. Go tabloid publications!

Head Trauma

Freddo was delivered to my desk in a bad way last week.

As you can see, there is a major lesion and cranial seepage from the left side of his face. He was admitted to my stomach for further tests but didn't recover from the initial injury and was pronounced as poop about 12 hours later.

#fuckfred

I just wasted about 20 minutes trying to make sense of a he-said/she said argument on Twitter. Apparently Trent Reznor is trying to get a new heart for some kid and some guy called Fred who sounds like a doucelist has claimed it's a publicity stunt. I can't even believe I've wasted time writing about it.

Read more here.