Online meltdown.

I'm a member of an NZ Warriors forum. Earlier this year after a pretty spectacular meltdown, a forum member posted this.

"****'s glad to leave the hallmarks of this forum behind. After all, she's never been given a fair go and you all treat her like complete shit all the time. At least there are REAL SPORTS FANS OUT THERE WHO i CAN TLAK TO WHO NEVER TALK DOWN TO MEN LIKE THE MEN OF THIS FORUM. sO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR FECKING EGOS AND FUCK OFF."

It took about 2 weeks of normal interaction to get to that point and they left for about two weeks before making a reappearance today. I'm giving it another 2 weeks before another meltdown of epic proportions. I'm kinda looking forward to it but I'm kinda nervous too, kinda like when you drink milk that had a use-by date of yesterday but it still smells ok and you're not sure which end it's going to come out of or how hard. Yeah, exactly like that.

Saints Row 2 - Excellent!

My mate sent me this review last year and it is one of the single greatest things I've ever seen.

I got it for Xmas for myself but because of the festive season and the trip I didn't get a chance to play it till this week.

Let me say that it meets the review and exceeds all expectations. Even making your avatar is awesome. I spent about 45 mins making a stocky asian gentleman that resembled myself and then I got to the make up bit. Suddenly he looked a little bit like Criss Angel but less of a douche and then I found mime face and the 45 mins I'd invested into turning my avatar into me disappeared as I applied a white face and massive red grin. So totally worth it.

The game itself is awesome too. Stuff like tagging rival gangs buildings in shit or picking up grandma's so they can scissor prostiutes in the back of your car make this totally awesome.

I can't stop thinking about bouncing some uni students off the bonnet of my stolen low rider tonight. It will be unwholsomely excellent!

Baffling Foreign Movie Posters

Some classics are butchered here. Poland seems to get picked on a fair bit such as this effort for Weekend at Bernie's



The Czech Republic do, in my opinion, the best job on Ghostbusters.

"Ghostbusters (1984): Patrick from Spongebob tries to avoid being prison-raped by Giant Aardvark Man. Rated PG."

Lethargy - not what it seems.

I typed "Lethargic" into Google images and this was the 12th image that came up. I'd hate to see what constitutes as active.

Guerrilla Poetry Organisation - Call to Arms

I'm part of the GPO aka Guerrilla Poetry Organisation and I received this email yesterday.

"We want pictures of shoes. More specifically, single abandoned shoes. Wherever you find them just whip out the camera, take a few snaps and then email them here."

How bizarre eh? I was able to submit about 9 photo's of crap on the street from this blog alone.

If you want to know more about the GPO go here.

I write under the pseudonym Throwspear. Awesome.

Randy the Ram in Wrestlemania 25!

It's all happening for Mickey Rourke. He's apparently going to be in Wrestlemania 25 as Randy. More here.

He's also apparently hooked up with Evan Rachel Wood. More here. Would you hook up with Mickey Rourke? Evan Rachel Wood. Ba-boom tish!

Finally, he's apparently going to be in Iron Man 2 as a bad dude. More here.

There's even a fascinating bit about Jackie Chan becoming Mr Miyagi. Do or do not, there is no try. Oh wrong trilogy...

Comedy - What if nobody came?

It'd be cancelled.

Comedy in 2009 started much the same way it ended in 2008, cancelled due to lack of interest. There were 4 comics and no audience which was a bit sad I guess. I got given some comp tickets for next time around so if y'all interested and in Sydney hit me up and I'll give you a ticket or two.

I went along to Redfern instead and it was a good night from what I saw. Ah well, onwards and upwards for the next gig.

Gargamel

Whatever happened to Gargamel? His name is kind of like Caramel but he wasn't that sweet. His Wikipedia page pays him out and basically calls him a hobo.

"He is perpetually stooped, his robe is worn and patched, and his teeth are rotten."

I'd be updating that shiz right away if I was Gargamel.

The series finished 20 years ago and no one's heard from him since. I think he's either dead or he's hanging out on a beach somewhere in South East Asia. Dirty bastard.

That leads me to this point...

If I follow a cake mix and only use 1/6th of the ingredients I'll get a cake that's 1/6th of the size of the recipe right? Well Gargamel needed 6 Smurfs to make gold and every episode he always managed to capture 1 or 2, sometimes 3. Why not simplify and reduce the quantities. Work smarter not harder man.

Mac's 25th Anniversary

This was shown during Super Bowl XVIII and heralded a new way to compute.



It was directed by Ridley Scott and was a swipe at IBM apparently. These days, you can now replace all those dudes in grey with Apple Fan Boys with their nano's plugged in tapping away at their Macbooks while buying new apps for their iPhones...oh that includes me.

To compensate here's an ad for a Big Mac.



The chick in the white condom hat is hot. She's be at least 50 by now. Yum.

Greyhound to Vegas - Uneventful

You may recall me mentioning my greyhound trip here.

It was crap. No-one tried to decapitate anyone on the bus. The station was clean. All the passengers were quiet and kept to themselves. There were no addicts. Our baggage guy didn't say ass or nasty ho even once. The closest we got to drama was when this mullet dude had his trashy girlfriend with weird pancake flat breasts push their luggage into the info line. That is not a euphemism although you can use it as one if you wish. I didn't take a photo of them because I was afraid I might get shanked.

Anyways, the highlight/lowlight was stopping off at Barstow, a place on the outskirts of California that is pretty much an afterthought. Here's the foodcourt.



This was their water tower.



I think it was full of disappointment and human misery...

Barstow is a place that no one who dreams should ever live in. If Nightmare on Elm Street was set in Barstow Freddy would have been welcomed as a way to get out of the monotonony that was life there. Barstow. Bad.