East 17 and the Jacket Potato

This isn't recent but it's pretty fantastic.

Brian Harvey from East 17 fame ran over himself and broker his pelvis in 7 places. Funny, I know. Funnier still is how he did it.

Harvey blames potatoes for bizarre car accident

Troubled reality TV star Brian Harvey has provided an astonishing explanation for the bizarre and terrifying accident in which he was run over by his own Mercedes... claiming it was caused by a meal of three giant baked potatoes smothered in tuna mayonnaise and cheese.

If he was on Atkins he wouldn't have run over himself, however if he were a rugby player he would've run over his daughter. It's been ruled out as another suicide attempt which makes sense. Jacket potatoes, vomit and a car seem a bit too elaborate for a suicide attempt unless you were the McGyver of suicide.

Doesn't he look like...

Doesn't Bernard Fanning



Look a little bit like Gladiator and Face/Off's Tommy Flanagan?



Totally. Great way to observe stuff Ray. You're my hero. Go do something productive you fukn idiot.

Celebrity Death

When a celeb dies I always find it awkward to think of them whilst engaging in solo pleasure. I have sent all my HIStory wall posters to the Op Shop.

Good luck peeling them apart...

Look-alikes

Here's a topical one for you all.

Doesn't Mick Hucknell



Look a little bit like Susan Boyle.



Mick's got bigger tits though.

Jessica and the Tard

I found this picture of Jessica Biel while surfing teh net this morning.



It's great because she's wearing a slightly see thru dress (this is not what I was searching for btw) and because of the severely handicapped child in the background. Honestly, he looks like he should be wearing earmuffs and catching butterflies in his mouth.

He has a reddish/pink camera too. Cmon kid, man up! I don't think he's even taking photo's of Jessica Biel, I think he's focusing on the bodyguard. He better unscrew his penis and hand it in at the man club because the tardo has no use for it. Even if he were actually taking photo's of Jessica Biel's see thru dress, he's gotten the whole picture thing wrong. You take photo's of the front of people when they wear see thru dresses, not the back.

Pink camera + chins + photos from the rear = waste of space.

Christian Bale Rant - Remix

The rant is old news. Read a transcript here. It isn't the full one cos it goes for about 4 minutes. My favourite part is where he says "You and I are done professionally" I'd imagine that their interpersonal connection is probably done too. I mean it's not like they're going to visit each other for scones and tea after that talking to.

I also appreciated how he tries to soften the rant by saying "You're a nice guy" only to back it up with a "fucking ass" towards the end.

Anyways as with anything it's been remixed into a dance tune. It's actually quite catchy. I expect it will become a Jamster Mobile content ad for $5.95 soon along with that singing fucking bunny.

Here's the remix.



And for your reference here's the original rant with some captions. A bit half arsed if you ask me...the caption not the rant.

Randy the Ram in Wrestlemania 25!

It's all happening for Mickey Rourke. He's apparently going to be in Wrestlemania 25 as Randy. More here.

He's also apparently hooked up with Evan Rachel Wood. More here. Would you hook up with Mickey Rourke? Evan Rachel Wood. Ba-boom tish!

Finally, he's apparently going to be in Iron Man 2 as a bad dude. More here.

There's even a fascinating bit about Jackie Chan becoming Mr Miyagi. Do or do not, there is no try. Oh wrong trilogy...

This month, Jennifer Anniston is Omnipotent

And hot...



And after a fresh start.

It's weird how celebs appear on multiple magazines at the same time. I'm going to go back to the first photo and pretend like I can see through her hands. I have no idea what she's talking about in GQ but at least I wouldn't fear getting the pages stuck together, just a sticky cover.

Madonna is soulless.

I don't really like Madonna too much anymore. I liked 80's - 90's Madonna as her brand of pop was light and accessible and her overt sexuality made 11 year old boys feel funny and warm about the world. Now she's going down hill. She's turned 50 and things are turning bad on her. She pranced around in that 4 minutes filmclip like a lightly shocked baboon, she divorces Guy and apparently A-Rod is cheating on her.

My theory is that when she was starting out she realised that she wasn't super talented and so she struck up a deal with the devil that she would sell her soul for commercial success until she was 50. Well guess what the Devil's come in to collect. Madonna doesn't look gristly cos she's superfit. She looks that way because she's now a husk marching towards her doom. Wow...did someone say puritanical?

Casey Affleck = Frankie Muniz

How is Casey Affleck even remotely related to Ben Affleck when he looks exactly like Frankie Muniz? I have a theory; they're the same person.

How many movies have they been in together? 0
How many cameo appearances did Casey Affleck have on Malcolm in the Middle? 0
How much do I want to punch both of them? A lot.

Their names even end in the same ee sound and a is the first vowel in both names.

Therefore, they are the same person.


Casey or Frankie?


Frankie or Casey?