Sexual Chocolate

Try saying it at least once in a conversation with a friend, colleague or loved one and then see if they pull you up on it. If not keep using it till someone does. I'm making it my phrase of 09. That or Condensation is Massive.

Upon reflection, Sexual Chocolate is stacks better.

Vacuum's

Yesterday there was a kid wearing a vacuum on his back much in the same style you would a backpack. He was holding the hose and running across the street.

I wish I had taken a photo, it was odd.

Here's a photo of a child and a vacuum with a pile of money. It doesn't quite do the moment justice though.



Shame.

Child Art.

I got this awesome child art from a colleague's daughter.



She has titled the picture Sophie. I wonder what that means

Comedy Wrap Up

Monday was the filming of the Graduation Night gig. It was a pretty crazy wee night truth be told. It started well with all the comics getting there and getting used to the stage and the mic. Dave Jory opened and warmed the crowd and he's so good at it. Rob my comedy teacher was on as MC and introduced the night and got it off to a decent start and then Rich was on. He has a ridiculous moustache and is an odd character at the best of times but was suitably entertaining. Eve who cou;dn't stop giggling throughout the course was on with an odd piece about martians which suited her. Next up was Harry who made fun of his disabilities and his Knox school up bringing. Callie followe Harry and she's a pretty spritual intellectual type who used placards and read out news stories. Probably a bit too much thinking and words involved but it was interesting enough. Amanda took us into the break and destroyed the place with her list.

A couple of my mates came and they seemingly enjoyed the first half and were looking forward to the second half. It started with Anna who got heckled by some drunks who decided to make the show about them. Their heckling continued through Ben and Kellie's sets and then I was on. I think I went quicker than usual but it went well and most of it landed pretty cleanly so I was happy. Dave Smiedt finished up the night and in the end was in a running heckle battle with about 4 different groups so he just called it a night. Wild stuff.

Wednesday night I went to Amanda's bday gig and got asked to perform at the last minute. I rolled with a similar set to Monday and it worked to good effect. All in all it was a fun night and Amanda was the star with a headline spot. All in all a lot of fun and I was glad I could be a part of it.

Ray Day 09

Today is my birthday. I rock. The world has already given me two presents, maybe three depending on how you look at it.

The first was as I walked in. There was a very thin 20 something year old man pacing up and down outside the office. He didn't move his arms when he walked and just let them flop by his sides which is quite unnatural really. Anyways, I hurried up to catch up with him as I knew he would be gold.

He walked up to the automatic doors and then walked away and then walked back again triggering the doors open but he waited till they were fully open before going inside. At this stage I was only about 5 metres behind him and I was most excited.

Once inside the foyer he paced back towards the entrance and then saw me so he spun around on his heel and marched to the elevators. Once there he kept repeating "8:35 not 9 it's 9 not 8" and then stared at the up button. Eventually he pressed it and paused before he got into the lift. Once insde he pressed lvl 6 and then went to the corner and started spinning. I pressed lvl 1 and tried not to look at him. It was so awesome.

Present 2 happened on the way back from lunch with my sister who is excellent. This hot blonde crossed the road and she was wearing a black singlet top and was very cold. Awesome!

Present 3 happened outside work again. A woman in fishnets scratched her crotch as I walked up the stairs. I didn't see anything but it was still awesome!

Go World! Go Bday events!

Extreme Origami

News from Japan, a worker was crushed in a paper recyclying machine.

His name was Rustle. There were no obvious injuries except that his forehead was creased. Management have been forced to temporarily fold the operation.

So You Think You Can Dance - Dramatic

I like SYTYCD but I don’t like the ad’s spruiking it. The ones that annoy me the most apart from the ones that show the insides of Natalie Basingthwaites dilated nostrils are the elimination ones. They announce that 6 dancers will “dance for their lives” It’s a bit dramatic isn’t it? What’s going to happen? Jason’s going to crack it and shoot one of them on the spot. That little hat wearing pansy Matt is going to laugh maniacally and press a button opening a trap door sending them to their dooms? Bonnie is going to compliment them to death? Natalie will ingest them in her ever increasing nostrils? No. They’ll survive. The reality is they’ll be sent home and continue to live. They should really call it “dance to prevent elimination” but it won’t happen.

Jerks.

Romeo and Juliet: Love Theme

I was going through my classical cd’s at work and found a Romantic Song compilation by Naxos. I played it and found Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet love theme which I can’t listen to without thinking of Elmer Fudd falling in love with female Bugs Bunny. Try it, you won’t be able to do it either.

Facts

If you do a Google search for "Turtle, Sexual + Preference" RWOC is the 5th result returned.

I know this cos a guy in the Phillipines now know this. I reckon he'd be disappointed really.

It's March

That's probably why I have a couple of whiskers growing on my chin. They're March Hairs.

Boo...you suck....